saigoheiki.com

Sorry for the lack of updates – my Internet connection (namely by the one and only monopolising Malaysian broadband company TMNet with their unreliable product Streamyx) has been largely unusable since last Friday, and I have not been able to get online. I have been randomly hopping to friends’ houses to utilise their functioning Internet connection to get actual work done among others – and I have been quite busy lately as well – thus I have absolutely no time to blog (I’m at Jon’s house now sambil blog sambil main DotA with Ding and Jon wtf).

So we sent off Heng last Saturday early in the morning – I woke up at 5.45am and got ready before departing at about 6.30am and picked up Wai Hong, Suet, and Andy – at KLIA. It wasn’t at LCCT because the MAS tix he bought to Kota Kinabalu was RM20 cheaper than AirAsia’s for his selected date, which was a first.

No trip to KLIA/LCCT is incomplete without going to the marginally expensive McDonald’s.

We had a series of farewell dinners and meet-ups during the last three days (including today), and another forthcoming for Heng tomorrow morning. Two of our extended family members – Jess and Heng – will be leaving for their universities in Penang and Labuan respectively.

We were fortunate to not have a large number of our clique members leaving to other countries thus far (save for Suet), and in a way we still have not been torn apart by the large degrees of separation by distance. And now that both Jess and Heng are departing for other states in Malaysia and leaving us for 3 years (except for the occasional returns during holidays), I’m gonna miss their presence.

Goodbye Jess, my classmate for 5 years (remember we were a ketua tingkatan and penolong ketua tingkatan team in Form 1!) and good friend of 8 years, and to Heng, ex-DotA kaki, drinking buddy and a great friend since Form 3. (wtf this unintentionally sounds like an eulogy which it’s not ok!)

On Wednesday night the whole bunch of us went to Teluk Gong for a farewell dinner at New Greenery or something like that. We went in three cars, I was in Jon’s along with Ding and RB. Tons of pics galore:

Sze Vien, Heng, Ding with RM200+ specs, Shawn. (Click to enlarge.)

Because a string of detailed words don’t necessarily have to describe my days.

Friday night:

How I Met Your Mother (Season 1, Epis 16-22). Conversations from 12am till 6am. Tequila shots. Guys night out. Stayed overnight.

On Wednesday night, Shawn and Ding came over to my house to do our Japanese homework.. I also attempted to set up a mini-studio of sorts to photograph Shawn’s collection of knives which kinda failed because of the horrible yellow light in my room.

Then on Thursday morning at nearly 10am, Shawn picked Heng and me up to go to Putrajaya where Heng had to apply for a new IC due to the broken chip in his current one.

Beautiful morning with the grand architecture of the government offices. (Nearly all of the images were at the wrong white balance again WTF as if it’s some Putrajaya curse or something, but luckily I was shooting in RAW and my mistake was easily corrected.)

So I went to SJMC with my mum and youngest bro yesterday morning for a 9am appointment to get myself checked out. I initially thought that my gastroenterologist will order an endoscope to be done on me but that turns out to be the extreme point of things where my case is concerned – so he had me do blood and stool tests and apparently we’ll get most of the results very quickly about an hour later (gone were the days when you have to return a few days later).

I must congratulate myself for not freaking out on hearing that I have to do a blood test because about a decade ago I’ll bawl my eyes out and would rather die than have a needle stuck into me. Or I must’ve gotten quite used to it wtf (I voluntarily asked for a flu vaccine last November before I went on my Laos/Thailand backpacking trip) or I knew it wasn’t that painful after all.

That said, I can never look at this little demon in the eye – I always had to look away or close my eyes when the needle was injected into me. This blood test also took quite a while for some reason and I realised why it was, because it was drawing quite a lot of blood from me (enough to fill in two test tubes to the brim wtf) and I didn’t even realise that it was over, and the doctor/lab assistant had to ask me to unclench my hand.

Easily done. What’s next?

WARNING: DO NOT READ IF YOU’RE EASILY DISGUSTED OR ARE INGESTING SOME FOOD.

I was walking with my dad at 6.45am yesterday down the streets of my neighbourhood towards the bus hub of USJ 8, and the entire town was deathly quiet. Chirrups of the crickets. The sound of dull rapid footsteps from the few who were jogging at that hour. And there weren’t any unnatural sounds of motor vehicles zooming past by – just a sleeping neighbourhood illuminated by the yellow lights of the street lamps.

It was a morning at peace.

We went together down to KL where I was participating in a “Photoshoot for Newbies” as what it was called, while my dad was to attend to some of his own agenda. We ate a breakfast of beef noodles, then my dad lingered for a while at the designated meeting point of Pasar Seni’s carpark until the rest of the photographers and the organiser arrived (the organiser was late by 15 minutes >_>, because of a model who took ages to prepare herself).

We had two models, Evon Tan (who looked like Amber Chia) <3 and Sara Ayumi (probably just a glamour name I suppose).

Long story short I learned a fair bit of how model photo shoots were like: that we had to use reflectors (or you know, those car sunscreens) to reflect light on the models’ faces; it was my first time shooting entirely in RAW; and I liked Evon a lot (in a model-photographer relationship) because she’s very professional – at least from my point of view as a newbie photographer wtf.

We divided our group of 8 into two groups, and took turns to shoot each model. The reason why I found Evon to be so professional was because even though we had quite a number of photographers wanting to shoot her at the same time, she would linger her eyes into the lens of each camera to allow each of us to have a fair chance to shoot her. And I liked that.

It’s been a long time since I’ve written anything shamelessly honest. I’ve always been afraid of writing things that exposes glimpses of weaknesses, of things that might allow people to dangle precarious words behind my back, and of a million other things that I’m so wary about that I now have clear-cut representations of myself that I utilise at will depending on the occasions that arise.

All those entries with their comments shut close by myself – like a person who begins to vaguely tell you things that either make no sense or appear to be ramblings like a lyricist gone mad, and then slams his or her door shut in your face without waiting for your opinion – mean a great deal to me. They are entries that I’m struggling to be completely honest with what handful readers I have, but at the same time, paradoxically they’re something I’d rather not have them entirely known. It’s almost rude, I know, because it’s as if I’m telling you: I have a problem, but I’m not going to let you know what it is.

I have friends whom I’m still quite close with back from high school, and they are still the most amazing bunch of people I’ve ever met. Laughters always resonate, silly floating discussions about the generic, occasional intimate moments where we share violently private things – but problems were always listened to for about 5 minutes and they’re swept aside to the nearest available monsoon drain to be flushed away with more laughters and thinly-veiled insult-jokes and Oh-you’ll-be-fine’s and other stereotypical things that men (and the occasional women) do to avoid dealing with difficult things that challenge the psyche.

But in the midst of the thickening, poisoning air of alcoholic breaths, we accept these answers in silence. Perhaps indeed when the head clears, our problems are insignificant compared to the various global catastrophes occurring at an alarming rate. The great Sichuan earthquake. The fearsome Cyclone Nargis assaulting an already poverty-stricken Myanmar. The 9/11 terrorist attack. Rising oil prices and its multiplying effect on world economies. All of these, and more, against the backdrop of when-will-I-finally-find-the-partner-of-my-life’s and problems of finding backpacking companions and pondering ways to keep myself occupied in the holidays and grieving over the loss of a pet and a host of other seemingly unimportant things.

Each of us has our own problems that occasionally cloud the mind, and I’ve always maintained that none of these problems are less important than the other because they’re significant to the sufferer, regardless of the degree of the difficulty of these problems. We’ve formed all these worlds and enclosed ourselves in, and by doing so, we’re nearly always more concerned about pressing issues that affect our own individual worlds than others’.

I watched The Happening earlier today with Jon, Ding, and their girlfriends (where we also met Esther and Adrian who were watching the same movie at the same time) – and I felt like the odd misfit lamppost sitting right in between the two couples. I didn’t think I would feel that way when I was perkily asking them to come for the movie I’ve always been anticipating for some time now, but I did when I finally sat down in Cinema #10. Hand upon hand upon lap. Hushed whispers. In a darkly-lit room. It made me feel incredibly alone, that lovers will share quarrels and kisses and ice-creams and cuddles and bland stories about yesterdays and what happened to so-and-so and exaggerated opinions about The World, while I am here, spinning pathetic entries to no one in particular of arguments and love and dairy food that I cannot eat and hugs and hopes for tomorrows and anecdotes of others and still exaggerated opinions about The World.

I fear this feeling. I remember exactly the last time I felt this irrational fear was the day I recovered my passport in Thailand and my backpacking partner, Siew Kiat, was flying off from Krabi while I make the grand one-man journey to the lesser known town of Satun. To the unknown. Alone. It was only going to be a single night of our entire trip where I would be entirely on my own, but I hated it. It felt as if I was ditched – which was entirely untrue – and I was in such an isolated place that I met nearly none of other travellers that it amplified this singular loneliness by a dozen, and I tried as much as I could to adapt and make small talks to the locals.

When I got back home from the movie, fatigue assaulted me and I thought it was going to be one of them weird temperaments that I can sleep off. I woke up some 30 minutes later feeling a little more anaesthetised of the big 10-letter L word, but that feeling came back. I made a short, raspy yell. I still feel it gnawing inside me like an alien parasite.

I’ve never been able to articulate my feelings as perfectly clear in writing as communicating them orally. And this is one entry that I’m writing from my heart about my fear. That I’m writing wilfully about one very private weakness. That I’m allowing a small glimpse past a sturdy wall into my bare heart. That I’m sure the future me will regret writing this and cringe whenever I stumble upon it. That I am still a lonely child at heart.

I received an early morning call yesterday from FAC (Fucking Annoying Classmate) at 8.30am who proceeded to tell me that a further 2 more subjects’ results have been released – we have just checked our Financial Accounting results the night before online.. and RMIT is weird like that in that results are released slowly per subject rather than all at one go ala Curtin. :/

After checking for my own results, I received an e-mail from a seller who replied about my enquiry on the Raynox DCR-250 Super Macro Close Up Lens, which was really an attachable filter of sorts to any lens with the diameter between 52mm to 67mm. At about 9.45am I left home and went to his house at USJ 3 (he does not have a physical shop, but does his business entirely online), and stayed there for about an hour while he showed me how to use the Raynox, and tried to persuade me to buy a few more other things.

Eventually I ended up with a purchase of the Raynox DCR-250 (RM250), a blower (RM30), and a diffuser for my external flash (RM50). Which Eric (the seller) owes me RM70 because I earlier pre-paid him RM400 for a Lowepro Computrekker AW bag that I was eventually told was out of stock.

Then I went back home, immediately tested out my Raynox with much glee, ate a homecooked lunch of buttered dory fish at about 1pm, and halfway through suffered what I thought was gastric pain. Eventually the attack grew stronger and stronger and I forced myself to the toilet bowl and sat there for about half an hour as I felt the energy and valour draining out of me – I felt faint. The spasms in my stomach were so bad I fervently wished someone would just tear the whole damn thing out of me – it was worse than being punched in the stomach.

I was laosai-ing quite violently that when I felt the attack stopped momentarily, I summoned all the strength I could to bring myself downstairs to tell my mum that I’m in a great deal of pain and I needed to be fetched to the clinic. Then I had to run up again and laosai wtf.

5 minutes later I brought myself to the car while the pain had subsided slightly, clutching a plastic bag, a change of clothes, and towel that my mum passed to me in case I laosai in the car wtf. Seriously I have no control over my bowel movements la, it’s like my body was reacting quite badly against whatever toxins that entered my system.

But fret not surprisingly I didn’t laosai during the 15-minute journey to Klinik Ooi at SS15. And when I just entered the car while clutching my stomach in pain, Brandon was asking me “Baby ah?” WTFFF I would have laughed la there and then if I wasn’t in such a pain and was in no mood for jokes at all.

And luck was on my side ‘cause there were no patients around, and I was immediately ushered into the doctor’s room. Long story short, I was to see a gastroenterologist at SJMC immediately because of the bloated stomach I endured for the past 2 weeks and the sudden diarrhoea that I had.

So blabla we went there, the nurse weighed me (and I saw myself gaining 5kg WTF no joke I’m wondering whether it’s because of my bloated stomach – 5kg of air? wtf) saw the kindly Indian gastroenterologist who told us that I’m unlikely to be suffering from any serious problems because my bloated stomach was actually very common (something about due to diet and lifestyle, which I strongly suspected was the stupid foie gras I ate (which was only a mouthful) two Fridays ago), and that I had food poisoning.

And I’m suspecting the bakchang I ate in the morning, which was actually made by grandma. :/ Or the homecooked lunch.

Oh and as I exited the hospital, I saw Paul Moss wtf.

In any case this whole episode was incredibly trying and when we reached home, I slept immediately. And later on Ding dropped by my house at about 8pm to work on his assignment (and I helped correct his grammar wtf) and lepak-ed till about 11.20pm.

Here are some macro shots I took in my garden, I’d really appreciate if you can help me decide which one you think is the best/you prefer the most ‘cause I may submit one of them for a competition. :D

#1 Drop on pinkish lotus

When I come back home from my late-night outings, I nearly always take a quick glance at Bunny in his cage, awake at an ungodly hour – the only one still awake while the rest of my family is dead in their sleep. Few days after his demise, I was then staring at an empty cage that used to house him. And now, the empty cage has been replaced with a potted green.

If I come back from my day outings now, I involuntarily take a peek behind the shoe rack where Bunny used to always rest at. No bundle of white, black, and brown fur come hopping actively around me anymore wanting a pet or a scratch on his forehead, I can only place myself back in time when he used to be here.

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I went with Yen yesterday at about 7pm to follow her on an assignment to snap photos of Soho KL (Solaris Hotspot Kuala Lumpur) at Mont Kiara (details of which will not be revealed due to corporate confidentiality wtf). I had absolutely nothing better to do at home, and anywhere else gives me a breath of fresh air, especially since it had been ages since I last came to Mont Kiara.

Soho KL is an upcoming chic business district targeting the upper class and expats living in Mont Kiara. We took about an hour plus to walk around for a bit and snap photos.

A panorama of Soho KL and the roundabout-fountain. Click to enlarge. (Took me about 2 hours to stitch 12 images into this WTF.)