Croaking toads

My language eloquence is suffering due to me not reading any novels for the past few months. I was tempted to write up some horribly touching story for this IMPAC Dublin Literary Award for Young Malaysians 2006 competition, but damn, my Microsoft Word produced a popup that said I need a Microsoft Office XP (pirated) CD to install some missing components, which I couldn’t find at all in my pile of CDs.

So I started typing in Wordpad, and re-read the first four paragraphs I wrote. Fuck lar it’s like a UPSR-quality essay, using simple sentence structures and not some fantastic verbose vocabulary ala V for Vendetta. I think I’ll pick up Kate Atkinson’s beautiful collection of short stories entitled Not the End of the World and immerse myself in one or two of them to get my writing engine running.

Sooo.. what to blog about. My laptop plans have been delayed till the end of the year as my parents are running tight on money (they were supposed to sponsor half of the cost of the laptop or something, as a ‘present’ for my SPM results) since they have to pay for my Business foundation which is due to start in June.

So to compensate the long wait after battling daily with my PC that wasted tons and tons of precious minutes while trying to load various applications and games, I decided to buy an additional 512MB RAM to upgrade this long-serving servant of mine -- that should cost around RM230, and I’m looking to buy one out of my own savings sometime this week.

It’s still too early to make any plans, but if by any chance it’s possible (since my parents encouraged it as well), I would love to take a 2+1 programme that’ll take me a year to Perth, Australia. If you have been following my blog or knew the fact that my overseas travelling plans have been cancelled multiple times due to various factors despite stringent planning, you will know that I do not have a passport (international or not), and my first flying experience has to be to a local destination - Langkawi.

So you see, when hearing friends who is planning/had went to places like China and other foreign enough lands, you can’t help but feel your blood multiply itself in cancerous speeds and produce enough pressure to threaten to destruct your heart vessels. It’s called envy. I refuse to use the term jealousy.

..although the prospect of staying in the land of the “so where the bloody hell are you?” for a year is a bit daunting. Not to mention scary. But heck, it’s a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

I wish I can spare you less of this melodrama but meh, some things got to be let out from the recesses of your mind and heart.

Do I sound like a croaking toad seeking for its one true love?

There are oh, so many things I wish to impart to all of you, but some things are better left unsaid, some things are better not known. Some things are better left dead with the fishies.

Sometimes I find myself talking to myself in the bathroom or whenever I’m alone, because I don’t have a real person to talk to in real life.