Days of the Fuckafé

Ahhhh I’m back. Initially wanted to blog after my third day but there wasn’t time after working my legs off. So was the fourth. And the fifth. Now the sixth.

I probably won’t go into detail what happened on all the four days, but to share some anecdotes…

THIRD DAY IN HELL: 20th January 2006, Friday:

Daniel and Wai Hong started working at 11am, about 2 hours later than Andy and I who started off early at 9am. We worked all the way up to.. 1.40am.

*sighs dramatically*

The night was as crazy as ever with customers coming in NON-FREAKING-STOP as if they’ve never seen a damn kopitiam in their entire lives. Why the fuck they kept returning, I don’t know.

During lunch hour, met another difficult customer (a man with his other 5 colleagues who combined tables) who complained about their slow food. Honestly I don’t understand why these fucktards complain to me, a waiter, when I’m not the one who took their orders nor am I the one preparing their food. After scolding me in front of my supervisor, Alvin, who was at the counter, I lost my patience and raised my voice and demanded loudly, “Sir, please sit down.” “Butwtfmyfoodnothereyetsoslowbadserviceidontknowwhatelse” “FUCK YOU LAR SIR, PLEASE SIT DOWN.”

When he left the counter (which wasn’t far from his seat), I muttered loudly to my supervisor (he’s actually very understanding and stuff) within the complainant’s hearing range, “DIU NIA SENG. CHOU DOU SEI.”

Suet and Barry came over at night and I barely stopped to have a chat with them (much as I wanted to) because the place is filled to the brim.

At the end of the crazy night, I can see both Wai Hong and Daniel as exhausted as I was on my first night. To be honest I felt the peak hour on that night wasn’t as terrible as the one on my first - either that or I’m getting used to it.

Finally reached home at 2am.

FOURTH DAY: 21st January 2006, Saturday:

After requesting our supervisor the day before to be let out earlier, he relented (gave us the sad face and all which was funny).

Our food stock finished so quickly on the Saturday morning we had to finally close the cafe for an hour (we used baby chairs to block the entrance) to re-stock, because people were coming in in crazy hordes. For once, the cafe was empty and it felt sooo peaceful.

And, I swear to god, 10 minutes after we removed the obstructing baby chairs at 2pm, the place was packed again.

Andy who started work at 12pm (and stopped at 2am) didn’t take a shorter working day like the three of us, Daniel, WH and I did. For the first time, for me at least, we could finally be let out from the hell arena early at 6something pm.

We walked to my house using the USJ 9 way, and stopped by at Shawn’s house, at first for a drink. Ended up chit-chatting over a cordial blackcurrant drink (which we have at the fuckafé, ironically, selling for about RM3+ per glass?) and watching television for an hour plus.

Dropped by at Wai Hong’s house, then mine, and we were off to Court 8 to meet Eugene there.

We jumped into the damn swimming pool and fuck, it felt so damn good. Water carressing and massaging our tired legs and bodies like it was some spa (which, in fact, was an overdose of chlorinated water). I haven’t been swimming for ages (not even in Langkawi), and dousing ourselves with the cooling water felt..so darned relaxing.

After jumping in and out, and annoyed this other big hotshot guy who is in some silly committee of Court 8, who went to complain to a guard about us (which include the small Malay kids whom we befriended). What a spoilsport. Was rather pissed at that time, ‘course, since it was one of our only few chances to relax and unwind, but I don’t feel like detailing it out now. Apart from the fact we insulted him loudly hoping he’d listen.

After getting out from the pool, we laid down on the tiles next to the pool and chit-chatted. Crazy, but fun. Considering how dirty the tiles were. We contemplated peeing in the pool near the swimming guy to exact revenge.

Went off at about 10pm to Daniel’s house to collect his clothes and other related items as both Daniel, Wai Hong and Eugene would be sleeping over at my house. Chit-chatted with Kai Shen for about 30 minutes, picked up Eugene, went to Maju-Maju, then back at my house past midnight to play PS2.

We watched a small part of Memoirs of a Geisha on DVD and most of us almost dozed off due to its slow pace. We gave up watching it and slept at 3am..three of us on my queen-sized bed while Eugene volunteered to sleep on the floor. Felt guilty, actually.

FIFTH DAY: 22nd January 2006, Sunday:
Un-chronological tales ahead.

Walked around non-stop today from 9am till 7pm, which is hardly unsurprising considering that it was a Sunday. It wasn’t supposed to be this busy in the afternoon/evening, but well..

Two customers called me ‘uncle’. Wtf.

One customer whom Wai Hong was serving gave him a parting advice in Cantonese, “Study harder next time!” At that moment, the Earth probably stopped moving and crows cooed in the distance, signifying ”...”

Surprisingly my legs didn’t feel that tired today. Maybe I’m getting used to it.

It’s rather sad that I’m also getting used to eating only one meal daily, at 6pm. No lunch breaks, only a short one in the evening that was served as dinner. And it’s FREAKING CHICKEN RICE EVERYDAY. THE SAME TYPE.

On our 3rd night, when we told every customer that there was no kaya to prepare the toast with, we returned to the ‘bar’ after finishing our work, only to discover a bowl chokeful of kaya. Apparently our other supervisor, Ah Keong, related this lie to us so that Andy (and the rest of us) will have less things to work with. Heh.

Everyday we’ve been listening to Chinese New Year songs spouting from the speakers that I felt I could tear my scalp off.

Andy, Dan, WH and I left at about 7pm today amidst gasps of horror (“WTF WHY ARE YOU ALL LEAVING WHEN WE DON’T HAVE ENOUGH PEOPLE?” Said by a temporary worker from the Petaling Street branch in Cantonese, along those lines) from other colleagues.

After going to Maju-Maju, and dropping Wai Hong off, we stopped by near the Chinese restaurant behind my house to decide where to head next. We finally decided to go to Putra Heights for the heck of it - at first, to visit Andy’s rented house.

Angela joined us and we went around to Shah Alam (which was freaking near) for another mamak session. The Barjana mamak was horrendously sucky: the ice kacang was tasteless, and they even wanted to charge Andy RM1 for a tiny bowl of ikan bilis he took for his nasi lemak. Wtf.

After dropping Angie off, we went down the hill and seeing the beautiful night scenery on the way, we parked at the roadside again to enjoy the breathtaking view of the night - artificial lights from afar, looking so.. magical. To have wind soothingly cooing at you.. staring at the various buildings of different shapes and sizes from afar.. the beautiful, brilliant night sky of dark hues.. it felt soooo nice. Soo relaxing. Another way to unwind after a hard day’s work.

To be enjoying a nightview without a care in the world.. it felt like ages after slaving over the café, that we could enjoy something simple, something that doesn’t smell like coffee, toast bread and butter. We lepak-ed at a semi-deserted road overlooking the beautiful lights..we even saw some fireworks blasting off in the distance.

We are considering waiting for the sunset next time.

Dropped off the rest at their homes at about 11pm plus.

SIXTH DAY: 23rd January 2006, Monday:

Apparently Wai Hong quit today. He did look horribly tired even though I felt nothing like it yesterday.

Started work at 9am with Adrian, Andy and Daniel. The first two hours we did next to nothing since we weren’t ready to open the shop yet. We even had time to go out to buy breakfast to munch on.

We were supposed to work only one shift today, but turning on the begging-eyes look, our supervisor asked us if we could do OT today. We hesitated, then he informed us that we could take a break from 2pm-5pm. Sounds good to me I guess.

Since our computers are out of order (sad, supervisor said that if humans can break down after working for so long, even computers can too), we had to take and process the orders manually which took a slightly longer time. Exactly as if we were at the mamak.

For the first time throughout my entire working career in this kopitiam, there was hardly a mad rush. We even have 3-4 more additional Malay workers so our jobs are much easier (call it the ‘bully the newbies’ syndrome).

We went off for our break at about 2.20pm and settled down at McD’s to rest and eat. Esther joined us too just to teman us (Adrian, really), then we went off to Kimarie to wait for Andy while he cut his hair.

When we went back at 5pm, we expected a huge rush for the kopitiam food which I thought was just..mediocre. There wasn’t many people at night either (maybe due to raining), but it was still slightly tiring even though it wasn’t as bad as the first day.

Today I learnt how to speak 1-10 in Myanmar, thanks to Jope, one of the kind Myanmar workers there. Woot. Hard to speak on the tongue and hopefully I could remember it.

My Cantonese has been improving (by 0.05%), and sometimes if I got stuck when conversing in Canto, I usually use a mixture of English and Canto.

To be honest, the job is kinda bearable now, once all the crazy excitement over this damn café is over. One of my online friends from USJ 13, Azmir, is currently working there too (long story how we added each other on MSN on one fine night). Never met him in real life before (although he claimed to have seen me several times at various places), so.. ‘twas nice to see him.

What else.

I’ve been listening to the same songs more than 7 times after they put the CD they have on repeat. Enrique Iglesias’ Hero, S Club 7’s Never Had a Dream Come True, BSB’s Shape of My Heart.. I swear I’ll scream if I hear another ”..show you the shape of my hearttttttttttt”.

What would drive me up the wall is another “tongtongtongchiang, tongtongtongchiang, tongtongtongchiangtongchiangtongchiang”.

Saw Julia and his mum today, the moment I came back from my break. It looked horribly embarassing with my ugly chef-like attire.

We also tutup kedai today at almost 12am sharp, unlike other days when we open right up to 2am. Fucking mad.

If you’re wondering why I’m still working at the caf? despite the leg-breaking working conditions, I’m seeing it as a good way to get experience before I embark on another dream of mine: to open my own football-themed café!

Go ahead dissing it and calling it the impossible, but.. a dream is a dream, so if it doesn’t work out in the end I don’t mind either way. Which is why I contemplated taking Business, since I’m serious about it.

My fucking toenail (big toe on my left leg) currently hurts like hell.
It looked as if there wasn’t enough blood flowing through it, shit.

If I were to work OT for the rest of the month till SPM results, one of the following scenarios are probable:

- my legs disintegrate by themselves after extensive wear and tear
- my leg muscles grow twentyfold, and I could then go (window)shopping with the girls, with my endurance-o-meter shooting up
- rioting with torches together with the Myanmar workers, rallying for shorter working hours

Another day beckons.