Hi my name is Clem and I’m an addict.

Withdrawal symptoms surfaced, and I couldn’t help it. I can’t seem to break away from chasing love and lust all around – I know I mentioned 6 months ago that enough is enough, any sort of further investment is detrimental to my mental health but how can one help it?

I wish I could be given a chance like a spoiled brat in a candy store, given everything sweet as I demand it, but real world (un)fortunately doesn’t work in our favour most of the time. I’ve taken lots of things in my stride, I’ve diverted time and energy into even more fruitless activities but I suppose after a while, the mental strength I’ve worked hard to pile up a brick wall upon like a sunburned labourer starts to crumble. Even every car breaks down once in a while. Even a handful of ex-drug addicts pick up the needle once in a while.

There’s this guy in my college who’s the shyest introvert I’ve met in a long while, and occasionally we’d talked. Earlier today after we finished lecture, we got around a topic about girls and he apparently has fallen for one. The way he shyly related his short tale, smile sheepishly, promised to point her out the next day, and his voice encased with innocent hope made me feel happy for him for some odd reason – but I don’t know what to tell him.

I don’t want to be a spoilsport and tell him that things aren’t as easy as going up to someone, declaring love on knees, and it’s happily ever after. I mean, I should know.

I was and am an addict.