saigoheiki.com

A package arrived at my house yesterday – my mum who was fetching me back from college promptly told me, “Eh you’ve got a parcel from Barry Ooi”. Mental acuity and generally inherent accurate fortune-telling ability told me that this was the very parcel that I’ve been waiting for a very long time.

And when I entered my room, I saw this:

Tearing the parcel open like a wolf deprived of his meal for 3 years revealed the following:

Two boxes of Lactaid Fast Act (60 chewable tablets in each box)!

And inside the boxes (one with the expiry date of June 2008, the other with June 2009 wtf) were these:

My.. lactose elixir of life, so to speak. Brings a whole new meaning to consuming dairy products.

Thank you very much Suet for helping me to purchase it, and Barry who had to walk through biting snow to the post office to send this off for me. I can now safely consume ice-creams, chocolates, cheesecakes, TEH TARIK omg (did any of you realise that I’ve been ordering limau ais and not teh tarik whenever we’re out to mamak?), Starbucks coffee, and god knows what else I’ve been missing out for the past 3-4 years or so.. this time WITHOUT diarrhoea, bloating, and gas – as long as I still have them pills, that is.

You don’t know how hard it is for me to restrain myself from saying “No thanks” when presented with cheesecakes and ice-creams ya allah meleleh air liur aku. I had to refuse a homemade cheesecake from my aunt a few weeks ago when I was at my kampung for Chinese New Year. I had to stop myself from reaching out for Shawn’s creamy carbonara huhu when he cooked it for us (can’t remember when). I had to bite my tongue and pretend not to see when M&Ms were freely dished out on our recent Langkawi trip.

But truthfully I’ve been practising the art of restraint for so long over dairy products, I think I’m quite good at avoiding them now. I think I even forgot already how cheesecakes tasted like, how its slightly rubbery texture used to tapdance over my tongue..

Those days will soon be over and forgotten! As long as I have a steady supply of Lactaid. (fuh like an exaggerated testimonial from a satisfied user wtf.)

Before I harp on its qualities, I had to make sure the pills actually work, since I’ve read before on the Net that Lactaid doesn’t work for some lactose intolerant people. So when Andy rang me up something about yumcha at about 9pm yesterday, I jumped on the opportunity to test them out. I picked up Ding and Andy, Shawn and his friend Zi Pin (dunno how to spell lah) from college, sent said friend back, then went to McD’s Taipan where we met up with Kai Tzin.

So I went up to McD’s counter and muttered these words that would’ve never escaped from my mouth before I had these pills, “One McFlurry M&Ms please!”

They don’t have any M&Ms anymore, they told me regrettably, so I picked Oreo instead.

My first McFlurry in the longest time ever.

So basically all I had to do was to take out the pill from my wallet (which I would be carrying religiously from now on.. like condoms wtf), release it from its papery jail, then chew the pill together with the McFlurry. The usual deep rumble that I would feel in my stomach within 30 minutes of consuming dairy did not appear.. although my stomach felt a little bloated – another lactose intolerance’s side effect, but not horrible enough that I had to sit in the toilet the entire night.

In summary: the pill worked! ..although I still had minor side effects. But according to a fellow LI dude, if I’m consuming pure dairy (milk, ice-creams, etc) I’d best be taking 2 pills, while if it’s pizzas and other food with smaller amounts of lactose, 1 pill should do the job.

Shawn also bought a Happy Meal, with his toy:

Yes it’s a Barbie thing. He was given a choice between a toy car and a doll, and he chose the doll WTF.

Before moving arms.

After moving arms.. woosh you can see its hair gracefully flowing out ahahahaha.

Graceful hair look.

Heng and Jess also joined us after they finished their work at Pizza Uno, had a good laugh over many things (mostly over Ding’s e-mail address lol!), then we went back at about 11.45pm.

Since I missed out on like dozens of birthday cakes throughout the years, I think I might just go out and get a cheesecake for myself on the pretext of having a belated birthday celebration.

---

I’ve also learned a photo editing technique yesterday called the HDR (High Dynamic Range) – and I just had to manipulate the best picture I’ve snapped in a so-called “village with no electricity” in Laos and see its results (click to enlarge):

I think it’s so hauntingly beautiful it calms me everytime I see it – it’s like the last few pristine places on earth.