I’m sorry Father for I have sinned.

I’m sorry for I have sinned, and I have a confession to make. I have committed another murder yesterday midnight.

A bloody roach appeared on my toilet floor right after I peed and frightened the bejesus out of me (excuse the slightly harsh words). My first instinct was to kill it, using my ever effective method proved last week.

Since it’s larger than its teenager counterpart I encountered before, I thought my soap-water method would be useless. But I tried anyway.

So I threw a waterfall-load of soap/shampoo water at the cockroach. It thrashed about on the floor wildly and I jumped back, slightly taken aback until it landed on its own body, legs in the air. At this point I cackled gleefully when it was no longer moving. I paused to think my point of action next, which is when I rushed out to take my camera to snap its photo to satisfy my murderous desires.

Right after snapping its photo, the goddamn thing (excuse me) thrashed about again! How dare it try to pretend to be dead!

Enraged by its attempt to try to fool me, the cleverest species on earth, I opened the drain hole and threw more water at it till it was washed down the black hole, filled with soap water almost to the brim.

Die. Die. DIEEEEEEE.

I must be hallucinating, but I heard yet another heavenly bell that seemed to be emanating from above. And someone seemed to be announcing:

Homosapien verryverry cleverus vs blatella asahinai stupidis idiota: 2-0

And I’m proud to display the weapons that I used, albeit homemade:

The shampoo/shower cr?me makers would be proud to see their products used this way.

And Father, I can’t help it but feel proud of my murderous achievements. I’m sure you’ll understand (and God too) that I have successfully eliminated the world’s most unwanted, hated, loathed species on earth.

Sincerely,
Clem