My bare essentials

I’m sitting here in front of the PC bored; oh, a clich?d statement, and even stating its clich? is a clich? in itself. How ironic (another clich?!).

When I sit down, and tap the keys on my keyboard in motion comfortably without having to turn my eyes away from the monitor, I have to occasionally turn around and look if anyone’s watching. That’s the way it is.

Have you not felt that what you blogged, is what you sometimes may never speak about in real life? For instance, my relevation of the events that unfolded yesterday, may be summed up by me in real life, as “good”, “oh-it-was-okay”, “damn tired”, and other choices of adjectives and suitable phrases.

Some may wonder why the hell am I not opening my damn book and do some revision. Or finish off my homework. Or do anything school-related at all.

It has come to my realization that the hardest thing to do is to keep up with other people’s expectations. I remembered when my results dropped only by a tiny bit, and I was questioned and interrogated by almost everyone I know - my parents, teachers, and even my friends, “What happened to you?”

Nothing’s happened apart from my slightly “disappointing” results. I hate to have everyone think of me as one of the smartest people in school, and therefore expects me to produce strings of As as easily as printing them on paper.

And I also hate the common misconception that I love studying. Don’t get me wrong, I like learning some of the interesting subjects, but that doesn’t mean I like staring at the book for hours engraving information in my head, nor do I enjoy homework.

And simply because I may appear quiet sometimes, does not mean I am such a “good” person. I dislike the notion that I can’t be doing certain things because I. Am. Good!

It has also come to my realization that I am a growing and evolving person, and I am not that scrawny nerdy sports-hating kid like I was (though I am still scrawny, yes). I enjoy so many things now, that it seems to override all school-related matters that had actually mattered to me before.

Blogging has essentially stripped me to my bare essentials, and it has become my creative outlet. Because English lessons are always dull in school. And because most of the times I don’t reveal what I feel.

Music’s the thing that zips up my life, that applies some sort of meaning to life, but sometimes that zip might get broken.