No

A concise two-letter word seems so easy to utter, but in truth it’s anything but it. It’s a daily vigorous routine to refrain oneself from uttering ‘no’, ‘not’, ‘cannot’, and the like – as well as in other languages or dialects – and it’s a characteristic I noticed mostly inhibited by the Chinese-educated.

It’s a cultural thing, I completely understand, whereby my ancestors dictate in several unwritten rules that declining an offer or mentioning one’s inability to accept said offer explicitly is considered.. rude. But do my great-great-great-great-great grandparents not realise that therein lies the problem – declining an offer indirectly with statements like “I’ll phone you if I can attend” (or “I’ll send my slave to tell you” in the past?) or “I’ll try my best to go” is downright infuriating sometimes. It raises hope, and with failed hope, comes crushing disappointment.

It’s not that I fall for these cultural idiosyncrasies anymore – one eventually learns from experiences, and learns to tell such symptoms and tell-tale signs – but sometimes don’t you wish that people can tell you ‘no’ directly? “No, I don’t think I want to” to the mildly direct “No, I don’t think I can attend” are far better alternatives than “I’ll contact you if I could go”.

I just found it a little funny that while the Chinese strive to be a filial, polite society – and even the Japanese – they could as well be the most polite rabbits in front of you and bare their fangs when you turn your back. It reminds me vaguely of a certain Shakespearean play – something about wearing various masks on certain occasions – or did I confuse this with something else altogether?

Ah, no, I must’ve been mistaken. Nope.