Robot

The world is crude, harsh. Sometimes as I try to climb back up the staggeringly deep pitfalls of disappointment, I found myself inclined to make a strangulating accusation towards the world, before I wrangle the blame on myself. I blame you, world, I’d curse inwardly when things spiralled smoothly out of control, but I know fully well that sometimes it’s the choices that I’ve made that planted me at a sordid place I don’t want to be. How can the world be a nice place to live in, when the compounding choices of a handful of high-ranking authorities overrun the compounding choices of billions of other laymen? Only when these billions of laymen forgo their apprehension and wake up from their slumber of complacency and overthrow these few powerful ones will the world see a revolution in the making.

But like I said, the world is crude, harsh. Uniting minds in a single, cohesive collective is an impossible task – we need only look at the current Israel-Palestine warfare and see how divided we are: the superpower nation of the United States (who has since had its financial system see a thunderous collapse) throwing its weight and support behind Israel, the failure of United Nations to stop the war, and the rest of the world who could only afford to condemn the inhumanity of the collateral damage.

But I digress.

Do Chance and Coincidence equal Fate, or does Fate stand as its own perceived supernatural entity? Too often in the midst of a circumstance that doesn’t go to our liking will we blame Fate for the outcome – which, when dissected logically, is really due to unexpected natural or man-made factors and/or choices of people.

But still, when things fall flat, I do what many other people do – I blame the world (or for those who believe in it, God). I’m only a deeply flawed human, vulnerable to pain as my façade belies the truth, and I probably had a hand in inadvertently engineering the outcome. I am so tired of pushing myself on like this, and sometimes as I absent-mindedly wrapped myself in a bubble of self-pity, I just wished I had someone to talk to about my silly petty issue. But there never seemed to be a right time – everyone else was either too happy or busy or otherwise morose.

It has always been about feelings. Maybe I should be a robot.