Running to a hill and scream alternative.

I am, at the moment, very pissed off. Frustrated. Angry. Incensed. Overall it’s a very negative feeling I don’t like to indulge in, but how on earth do I control it when it’s your parents that triggers it?

All I want to do now is to run to a hill and scream my lungs out, letting out all the anger and frustration boiled inside. I mean, come on, all of us have a certain limit, and I think mine’s more than half way there. So what do I do when your nearest available hill is several kilometres away, and the highest place you can get to is the apartment opposite your house?

Drink beer. *burpppp*

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t fancy beer, really. The bitter taste puts me off but I feel like drowning myself into something that will get my mind of it. I have my 2nd Carlsberg in front of me right now. The more I drink it, the more it doesn’t seem to taste that bad after all.

I do wonder what’s the point of being legally 18. Yeah right. Legal to drink, legal to fuck, legal to watch those 18+ shows despite me having done all that years before (GSC Summit really doesn’t care much - thank god - and there’s the pirated DVDs). What else?

I was supposed to go to Shawn’s house earlier to play mahjong with the rest (was awaiting for Siew Keat’s marriage in Maple so I told ‘em I’ll come at 11pm, more on that on the next entry or something), but later on mum forbade my going out and said 11pm is too late. Too late for WHAT.

I’m not going for clubbing. I’m not secretly waiting for my triad-mates to deal the latest hallucination-inducing drug to those stupid enough to use it. I’m not going to Geylang or Chow Kit to fuck cheap prostitutes. IT’S FUCKING MAHJONG, WITHOUT MONEY AT THAT.

Apparently she’s worried bout my safety. What now, Shawn and his family decide to sell me off to some flesh trade? They somehow got the wind that I have an ATM card now and decided to rob me? Gang-rape me? It’s fucking, fucking ridiculous.

With all honesty I have the fucking right to live my fucking life without being controlled. Especially since I’m legally 18. How nice isn’t it, using your age as a mean of an excuse.

Or am I the only one who has this liberal kind of thinking? Mum kept comparing me to dear friends living around me who don’t go out as much, but why don’t you compare to those who go out as much as I do? KNNBCB? MCB? ABCDEFG?

I have stayed at home a lot for the past few days, as well.

On hearing that SPM results will be out on the 13th March, my mum aggresively suggested and hoped and wished and prayed to the lords and gods and deities and whothefuckknows that I get straight As. Yay. She kept telling me that repeatedly as if I can hold Hishammuddin (Edu Minister) at gunpoint and force him to give me straight As (“kalau you tak bagi I straight As, I cabut kotek ngkau!”). As if I’m not pressured enough for being “smart”. What if I’m not? One relative said “sure can get 13As wan lar” when I only took 11 subjects. Heh.

Yeah yeah, teenage angst. Whatever. I’m quite sure the three billion adults living on this planet don’t feel the same as I do during their bad days [sarcasm].