Sinking of 2006

After about 4-5 days worth of much-needed rest, I was thrown back into reality. In college life terms, it basically means a gargantuan person picking you up with a pair of chopsticks and throw you right into the middle of college world.

I would have updated my blog sooner but something happened on Thursday that made me feel a certain kind of weighted burden in my mind. Class commenced horribly early as usual at 8am, and walking right into the Advanced Academic English class, I was duly reminded that our debate (a presentation of some sort) is next week.

Okay, I thought. But then fellow classmates also duly reminded me that we have a Business Communication presentation next week, and at least 3 assignments also due next week. Why the fuck has everything got to be by next week, you ask. That’s ‘cause next week is technically is our final week, followed by a week of ‘study break’, and another week of final exams.

Woot woop woot.

Right there and then like a comical cartoon strip, I felt a headache slowly gnawing inside me, as if there’s a gopher somewhere in the tunnel of my brain. It started to hurt, and everything began swirling in circles, and I felt a lot of urge to vomit. Which reminded me horribly of what happened on our PD trip when one is violently thrown about on a banana boat.

I don’t know what caused it but for some reason, for the first time (or something like that, I don’t remember ever feeling like that) I felt stressed. It’s daunting, you see, to have one of the group assignments being a ‘newsletter’ to be passed up by next Friday when my teammates and I have done nothing.

“See lah last minute work haha padan muka ahahahaha,” I hear someone laugh in the distance. Ohoh but consider the fact that we have NO holidays, and some very.. absent teammates, and like 1062134124 things to do by next week it gets really stressful.

Har har, stressful. I used to scorn and laugh at that word because I thought I could handle any stress.

I went anyway to watch Sinking of Japan at Summit with WH, Andy, and Daniel despite the faint nagging headache. We called ourselves the “Japanese Movie Gang” cause the last time we went out together (when it included Fang Chyuan), we watched Deathnote, also a Japanese movie.

It was okay, not too bad except that from being a disaster film it ended on a.. romantic note wtf. Bad bad combination.

Despite the growing amount of workload I had and am to face, I went out yesterday night anyway with Heng and Andy to Asia Cafe’s pool. Because all work and no play makes Clem a stressed boy wtf. Also picked up Esther and went to Shawn’s house to wait for him to return from his work at Renaissance Hotel, then hung out at Syed Ariff till almost 1am.

Right after PD.. I dunno. Fuck, I realised I like using “I dunno” a lot as some filler when I’m stuck on wanting to say something serious or before some embarrassing flow of words pour out, both in real life and on the Internet.

Anyway yeah right after PD, it was as if I had just woken up from the best, pleasant dream of all time. It was as if I was walking through an intangible world, and I hope against hope that the memories of that much-needed vacation don’t slip from our heads.

2006 has been a crazy sort of year. Even as I type the word ‘crazy’, it’s just not enough to sum up everything that happened in that 365 days. Turning 18 doesn’t seem to matter much as I got weirdly depressed on my birthday. I carried an emotional baggage that I hardly ever show in real life, because everything must be controlled, according to me.

I recalled what WH told me when we were on the way to/back (I don’t remember) from watching Sinking of Japan, and he told me that when I was pissed drunk, I was cute and funny.

I’m not generally a very funny person, I hardly make any jokes. But when people do laugh at me (or my rare jokes), I felt a tad bit happier inside. And the fact that alcohol succeeded in bringing out everything that I locked away, including my childish demeanour, deep inside me, so deep no one ever knew, it’s just sad, isn’t it? I somehow enjoyed that boundless feeling of euphoria when alcohol consumed my mental bit by bit.

wtf getting emo must stop.

It goes without saying that one learns a lot. 2006 is without exception, and I learnt a whole bigger deal about my friends and my newly-made friends and probably myself. After all the back-biting and laughter and whatnot, it’s hard to forget everyone in this circle, in this gang.

Sorry, my gang is not accepting any further membership applications and is happy the way it is, the way it should be, the way it has to be.