The Boy Who Loved All

Crowding upon a table surrounded by cheery, laughing faces, I spied on them from the distance. Ah, there you are. Haven’t seen you in a while. How’s things? Yo wassup. Ah wait do keep quiet while I spit out things that you’re probably not interested to listen. Lemme be insensitive and assume you’re interested in my repertoire of tales up my sleeve. I think you’d like to know that I can insult you twice as much when you feebly attempt one on me. I can offend you but hell hath no fury like me scorned.

A dark, silent temper quickly approached – it swept through, anger fluttering like fireflies upon mangrove trees; dissatisfaction, depression, and disgust poured into a bright-coloured pot and stirred to perfection. Marinated, simmered, served as an hors d’oeuvre. An antipasto to whet your bottomless appetite.

My thoughts had been morphing into things more disturbing as of late – ugly, lifeless, cheerless creatures populating my mind and multiplying by the minute. Why did I freely distribute my love to everyone? Something sinister was at hand. Paranoia? Schizophrenia?

“Drugs,” my words escaped softly. I crouched, bent at the corner of Pizza Hut proclaiming special delivery. I remembered the faint euphoria that enamoured me once, achieved only by substances socially claimed to be wrong. And who are you to say it’s wrong anyway?

Wrong. Everything feels wrong. The black wristband I still wore – the words “BE STRONG!” and the smiley beside it – had always been the source of my strength. The words have since faded over the time, but the yellow smiley remained. It smiled at me.

I returned the smile, albeit sadly. When was the last time I had glimpsed upon a genuine smile and not a socially-induced one? Everything seems to be social in this world.

My hands felt numb and I dropped the icicle, clasping both of my hands together for warmth. The perfect murder weapon rolled away into the nearby monsoon drain as I stared ahead once more. Laughing. Were those genuine laughters?

I need help, Angela. I think I’m gravely ill.