The Euphoric Game

There’s a distinct ringing in my ears right now as a result of that incessant music pounding at decibels above the minimum safe levels for nearly 3 hours and 30 minutes straight.

I was at Euphoria by Ministry of Sound, and I thought that with such a namesake, one would find that surge of happiness in that club. But I’m never a clubber, I’ve never gotten used to loud hip-hop/RnB music invading my ears, and I’ve never been able to dance. Thus my search for my personal euphoria had ended in naught.

The night had already started on a bad track when Alvin arrived 20-25 minutes late at my house due to the roadblock near the Wawasan school. After picking up Kai, we only reached Euphoria about 5 minutes after 10, thus we had to pay the cover charge.. but one need only say the password ‘mini’ to reduce the cover charge substantially from RM40+ to RM10 per person.

We got in with Alvin’s friends Jon and Jon T, and Heng’s Labuan schoolmate Alex from Klang, all of whom were friendly and chatty. (Andy was there too – he drove separately. Heng, Jess, Xin Min, Xin Fei and their friends were there as well.)

I stared in mesmerism across the dance floor with the haphazard lights flashing in swirly patterns at an epileptic level – paradoxically I felt there was a kind of silence and loneliness permeating the club slowly and descending like the smoke that was released at the dance floor despite the non-stop loud music, like a muted film. There were writhing bodies in the near dark, hands in the air, bodies contorted against another as the DJs of the night continued belting out scores of fast beats to get the mass of bodies screaming for more. My eyes roamed the dance floor, looking for something, not knowing what I was searching for.

Alvin managed to number close a girl – while as for myself, after standing around at The Deq for ages, I mustered up enough courage (with repeated urges by Alvin) to approach two girls (Alvin spotted ‘em and told me that if I weren’t gonna approach them, he would) who were sitting down, a lady in white glasses and another girl in a stunning black number. It all sounded pretty simple in theory, but until you actually attempt to do it in real life, you don’t know how much tougher it actually is than it sounds (for me at least).

My only opener of the night:

“Hey I only have a minute, but I need your honest opinion on something. Do you think this shirt looks good on me?” *alternated glances once between girl with white specs and girl in stunning black number

“Aren’t you that guy who asked earlier if he looks gay?” (Alvin’s routine) (girl in stunning black number talked to me the entire time, which is rare for mamaks (omg HAHA seriously I was too sleepy that I was starting to type nonsense WTF) while the other girl in white glasses were rather quiet)

“Erm, no. I was just wondering if this shirt looks good on me?”

“Haha you look like a chef. What’s your game?” (Shit test.)

“Well I’m currently on a bet with my friends, and if I can get 5 girls to say that my shirt looks good, they’ll buy me a drink.”

“Well you look like a chef. So how many girls have you spoken to so far?”

“Only two.” (A lie.)

“Haha well good luck!”

“Thanks man, I’ll see you girls around.”

My intention wasn’t to number close but get over my approach anxiety, so that wasn’t too bad. Would’ve re-approached the same girls again with the additional props I brought (with enhanced help from Jess and co – at least that was the plan) if bloody Alvin didn’t stop me haih. And.. I realised much later that I probably opened my routine with the same line that Alvin used on them (he forgot how they looked like, and pointed them out to me wtf), which caused them to ask that question.

I was really enjoying myself at that point – I was treating the entire encounter as a game (which, if you know what I’m talking about, is known as such). A fun social game where the world is your playground, and the people are your toys. And at one point upstairs, I was dancing conservatively on the spot and had my bit of fun as well.

RM37 later (after drinking two bottles of Carlsberg, one from a bucket, and another an individual one instead), I departed early with Alvin at about 1.30am. I returned home dissatisfied: dissatisfied with the crazy crowd where there were simply too many people and ruined my sense of enjoyment, dissatisfied with the fact that I had to pay the cover charge no matter how much discount I had, dissatisfied that I wasn’t even the slightest bit high despite consuming two bottles of Carlsberg which was actually quite a lot by my standards. In fact my face wasn’t red but I had red patches all over my chest and other parts of my body.

Sorry for the lack of coherence in this entry – my eyes are rapidly closing right now and my concentration is waning.