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I’ve been literally holding up a textbook of some kind everyday since last week due to a Marketing Principles and Macroeconomics I test this week; the latter of which had just ended today and I had to breathe a sigh of relief ‘cause it was easier than our previous test – maybe I was more prepared, I dunno, I had to when I think I’m slowly turning into a bespectacled nerd who can’t seem to glance away from his textbooks and notes. (But then again that’s because I feel I needed to catch up after skipping countless of lectures, especially for Marketing which I skipped since Week 3 or so, and a few tutorials here and there wtf am I becoming a delinquent!)

But I’m not like that! You know I just realised that maybe I’m not that far off or that different than FAC (Fucking Annoying Classmate, discussed a few entries ago) because I just realised that I may be developing a somewhat competitive habit against him and him alone because of his marks-comparing habit, that made me want to do better than he does. Read: kiasu. Although I prefer to term it as ‘healthy competitive spirit’ in respect to him wtf.

This, coming from the same guy who swore he does not care anymore about grades in college. But really I’ve started to worry less about getting good grades, and just aim to do my best to satisfy my own expectations.

And I just have to relate this funny anecdote concerning my Marketing test two days ago. Mind you it was our second test for that subject, and it involves 20 MCQs and 2 subjective questions. Despite having skimmed through the textbook, I find myself not able to answer them.. well until I heard a mic was being used, and our lecturer who was in front, started belting tips on how to answer them WTF…

All of the students were looking at each other wide-eyed, some grinning from ear-to-ear, notably unused to this unexpected turn of event. And I’m ashamed to admit this but I had to get some help from FAC who sat directly behind me who generously told me all the answers that he knew of (and vice-versa).

There’s also this tupai theory, in which Ding’s best friend Alvin related to us during our study session in Old Taste, Taipan, last year which I still remembered till today. Below is an ugly depiction of the theory:

Basically this theory prepositions that in exams, we shouldn’t aim for passes, as there’s the danger we might fail. Like in the picture, when the ugly tupai aims at point A of the tree, instead of succeeding to jump directly on that particular point, due to forces of gravity and whatnot acting upon the tupai, it only manages to jump towards point B instead.

So the lesson is, despite how tough a subject might be, aim for the highest possible and the worse you could get would be a grade lower wtf.

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- Watched The Three Kingdoms last Thursday midnight with Andy and Ding. Despite what some people like Shawn said, who told us it was very good, I thought it was bland, the choreography and overall directing was messy and all over the place, and in Ding’s words, Zhuge Liang was damn yongsui wtf.

– Went with Jon to Sumo USJ 9 last Saturday night as we both had no dinner at home. When we reached there at exactly 8pm, there were no available seats and we had to wait for a while.

Jon eating his sushi, while I had an unagi bento set.

- I was incredibly tired since Monday, having had little rest and sleep with me balancing between my studies and Cabal wtf. Went out with Ding, Andy, Shawn, and Wai Hong to 1 Utama at about 2pm to watch a movie.. I really wanted to watch Street Kings but its next available screentime was at 7pm so we had to forgo it and watch The Forbidden Kingdom instead.. with me tagging along somewhat reluctantly.

The movie was alright as I had lowered my expectations tremendously, and I was right ‘cause the entire movie was built around this single most laughable concept: in Ancient China, during the days of the mythical Jade Emperor, EVERYONE speaks relatively fluent English (albeit with Chinese accents) wtf…

Sigh I would’ve stayed at home instead ‘cause I was really quite tired but I thought catching a quick movie of an anticipated movie would be alright.. which in the end I couldn’t watch. T___T So had to make do lah.

Bought an officially licensed Super Mario T-shirt from Bossini for RM39! We also shared two tees for Jon for his upcoming birthday (let’s hope he doesn’t read this before his birthday arrives, he doesn’t read my blog that often anyway :D).

Ate dinner at Murni SS2 and finally reached home at around 9.15pm. And I had a Macroecons test the next day heh.

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When my mum delivered my youngest brother, the doctor who attended to my mum told her that having a Down Syndrome baby is a blessing in disguise, because they naturally have a shorter lifespan than the rest of us.

It was such an insensitive statement to utter to a parent who was not prepared to have a special child, but in retrospect my mum realised how true those words seemed now, because prolonging my brother’s life would needlessly subject him to further sufferings in the future – he still has problems eating solid food, that hole in the heart which thankfully doesn’t cause him much trouble thus far, and other things that I don’t feel like mentioning here.

And I didn’t even remember this fact till just a few hours ago.

It might be a cruel thing to say – perhaps it is – and looking at that giggling little kid whom I’m quite fond of, and at the same thing realising he couldn’t live as long as the rest of us do, honestly nearly made me cry. I want to rave and complain about the injustice of it all which no High Court in the world could solve, but there’s no point dwelling on something which nature has encapsulated his fate as such.

I don’t know if I could handle his future passing well, but as long as I live, that innocent, cheeky smile he always gives would be a permanent memory in my head. The only thing that we could do, my mum told me, was to make sure he’s happy and make his life better and easier to live in – and make sure he never loses that innocent grin of his.