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My subconscious is not convinced, nor am I able to condition it to understand that it cannot try to project its fantasies externally. I need to tell it that this needless crush cannot go on, and re-emphasise the fact that it will never happen – it’s just impossible.

But that face wins me over each time I lay my eyes on it. Lust. Envy followed. Then wrath directed at myself for repeating the same cycle of love and self-hurt over and over again.

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Thursday night after my Chinese class, went to Shawn’s house to discuss our Ulu Yam trip with Ding fetching me and Kai Tzin there. Nearly everyone was there with Andy leaving for clubbing at Coco Banana, and we stayed till about 12am before going to McDonald’s Taipan.

On Friday afternoon, Andy teman-ed me to Amcorp Mall as I wanted to purchase a UV filter for my Canon 50mm f/1.8 II lens in preparation for the trip (wasn’t that worth it going all the way there to save the RM7 difference compared to Summit, plus I had to pay an RM3 parking fee =.=”). And then at night, Shawn, Ding and Andy dropped by my house to finalise discussions about our trip, plus they helped me to check my car that everything was proper before I use it for the next day.

WARNING: 56 IMAGES AHEAD.

So my friends and I went on Saturday morning to Ulu Yam, but I had to start the day off in the worst condition possible by having only about an hour of sleep or less when I finally woke up at 5.45am. I slept nearly the entire morning and evening away on the day before which explained my inability to sleep, and then as I tried to sleep I kept thinking what kind of day it’ll turn out to be. Admittedly I was a little excited at the trip as it’ll be our first group trip or a holiday of sorts in a few months.

We were in three cars: mine had Esther, Suet, and Jess; Jon’s had Ding and Sarah (last minute rang Jon up to pick up Sarah as I had to wait for some time to pick up the girls); and Shawn’s had Yen, Heng, and Andy. We gathered at Shell USJ 2 at 7am+ briefly before departing for our desired destination: Ulu Yam.

We stopped by at the McDonald’s sharing the same building as Petronas at the area I can only describe as ‘the road on the way to Genting’ because I remembered passing by the same Petronas/McD when I went to Genting for one night with my collegemate Bryan.

The girls wtf. Had to wait some time too for our breakfast to arrive, despite this being at a fast food restaurant.

And the guys.

It wasn’t long as we drove on later (I had to ask Andy to drive my car instead ‘cause my sleeplessness was really getting to me), and then as we dropped for the last time at a Petronas station to finish peeing etc (so that we don’t pee in the river later wtf), Yen took over.

We eventually reached a kampung area and as we drove through it, roads turned muddy and uneven, and there was once when our car nearly careened off into the ravine on the left when we lost control of it for a bit.

Shawn sesat jalan.

Ding, Suet, and Sarah looking excited. Some of us also wore our baju rumah sukan as planned but most of us didn’t wear one.

And we walked for a bit through the jungle (less than 5 minutes wtf I can hardly call that as jungle trekking).

We found an okay hut for us to place our belongings but the area was still a little more infested with tourists.

Shawn crossing the river that led it to that hut of ours, and then we decided to try another location where we would be give more privacy and a possibly ‘better’ river.

Smokers United.

A ray of light.

Being emo by staring into the forests wtf.

Suet and I posing for a pic with us looking longingly into the forest wtf.

Suet with Yen’s camera.

Esther, Suet, Heng, me.

Ding willingly posing for me and Yen by squatting in front of a tree.

Shawn and a few others had earlier left to search for a better location, and then Shawn returned alone to inform us of the change and led us there.

Playing with water at our private section of the river.

This is actually a series of photos of them splashing water about. And terkena Shawn.

Shawn staring right at Jess.

Splashing water.

And more, as Shawn used his Crocs to splash water.

Shawn looking to catch a fish or sommat.

Sarah, Jess, Heng, Suet, Esther.

Shawn also exfoliated my back by rubbing sand on it, and when Ding’s turn came he did that and more – pinching a pimple out wtf. Ding eventually returned the exfoliating favour to Shawn.

Jon laughing at Ding for reasons I now forgot.

A HDR look of Sungai Sendat.

A little bright for some reason, but I liked this pic (‘cause it’s the only few pictures where I’m in one wtf and when I’m not snapping photos. Haih kehidupan seorang jurugambar wtf).

Yen, with Jess and Esther at the background.

Another HDR look of the river with Heng’s and Shawn’s shirts on a rock.

A butterfly landed on Shawn.

Esther and Ding.

Guys pretending to be shy wtf.

The whole lot of us with Yen snapping this for us.

And another pose. (What is Jess looking shocked at? Hmmm probably at something tiny wtf.)

We had our fun for about 2 hours plus before we left at around 12.30pm.

We then stopped by near a lake that we passed by earlier on the way to Ulu Yam.

Suet by a lake.

The start of some lala poses.

And another – 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 wtf.

Esther, me, Sarah, Jess.

Saying no to paparazzi wtf.

Shawn also had a scare on discovering the area near his groin/thighs were bleeding (man period wtf) and later found a pair of dead leeches possibly squashed to death by his erm thighs. O_O He was earlier attacked too at the river but a thwack with his fingers easily removed them from his legs.

Shawn, Esther, Jon, Heng, Jess, me.

Another groupie.

Jess and Esther jumping.

Another group pic!

Shawn pretending to be shy with Yen’s pink shorts LOL.

And the guys.

Fast forward two hours later and sifting through massive traffic jams (while Yen was forced to listen to Jay Chou’s songs while the rest of us were asleep in the car), we bought some food to eat at USJ 2 (finally sank my teeth into kuih apam in a long while now) and gathered at Shawn’s house.

Jon.

At about 5.30pm we went out again to Shabu-Shabu Puchong, with the exception of Esther and Jon. This time around Ding and Shawn fetched the lot of us.

A look of the incoming food.

My favourite food at Shabu-Shaby – pork slice! – which I nearly ate exclusively of, like 7 plates or more of them.

Shawn and his chopsticks.

Ding and Jess posing with our chu yok pin. Jess was constantly teased as fei po as her ability to eat was outstanding, rivalling that of Shawn’s.

The focus on the camera was wrong on my right arm wtf.

Waiter in training – pouring soup.

We finally stopped eating at about 8pm plus, and then returned to Shawn’s place to lepak and unwind. Suet played some prediction game by cards with some of us, and then after a few odd games of ‘Asshole’, we started chatting a lot while, naturally, I slept at intervals as well.

In the end we went back at about 2.30am, after staying up to wait for Pamela’s (Shawn’s eldest sis) safe return – some Indian dude knocked into her car at the back and suspiciously asked her to enter into Kesas highway to “settle things” when the accident happened near Summit. Smartly, she quickly made a police report.

It was helluva excursion as it was nearly always difficult to organise something with most of the extended family members attending. And I certainly had fun frolicking about in the cold waters of the river while testing my new camera.

(Sorry for a rather hastily written entry as I nearly fell asleep writing this, after spending a few hours organising and post-processing the pictures, went out for a short yumcha with Heng and Jon, and then writing this.)