我很忙

There is so much of myself that seems lost, obscured by characteristics I subconsciously assimilate with. This word fits me perfectly – chameleon – because like this enigmatic creature we often overlook in books on animals, I always manage to behave according to the persons I’m with and the situations I’m in, so much so I don’t even know who I am right now. Or who I originally was.

Since I was young, I was always in the ‘popular’ cliques, even though the painful fact was that I was an introvert. I’ve always wondered what it was in me that made me ‘accepted’ into these set of cliques, like a fish of an odd colour swimming in sync with a school of fish.

I’d like to think that I’ve changed somewhat for the better (although I acknowledge my other bad habits and personalities are still hard to be changed), because as I develop and slickly adjust myself to situations, inside a part of me evolved. Transformed. Visually you can imagine a round core mutilated in colours of varying hues and shades, so grotesque its original shape and colour are all but lost, after countless of times ripping parts from another and combine it forcefully to its own. A little like Frankenstein, a core that became what it is from others.

It isn’t really a bad thing to be a chameleon, a copycat. A bizarrely-shaped core, despite its deformities and oddities, that becomes an individual in its own right.

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As of last week, I have been out literally every night studying, switching between OldTaste and McD’s and then Leo’s as of yesterday. Ding woke me up when he asked, “Why did you bother to get good grades?”, and I had to ponder briefly for a while. I’m no longer under any scholarship and am unlikely to get any in the future, so honestly there really isn’t any reason left for me to get good results.

But I am so used to activate the same studying routine whenever exams are near that whenever I stray from it, I’ll feel a tad bit guilty. Key thing is at least I put in the ‘best’ effort I could, and whatever results I obtain (so long I don’t fail) would be good enough, because the least I’ve done is to try my best.

Taken last Thursday at OldTaste – Alvin, Ding, me.

Funny like hell wtf.

Andy and Ding.

Friday night, Ding and I went to McD’s at 11pm and actually studied up to almost 3am, after which we went to.. FTZ wtf. Played DotA till almost 4am wtf.

Saturday saw protests of tens of thousands of people regarding a clean and free election in the streets of KL which seemed a little surreal – even more disappointed that my favourite newspaper TheStar merely placed the news of its occurrence at about 10 pages after the main page. Does that not deserve a main headline rather than about some offhand remark made by the Prime Minister? Sad to see it government-controlled, heh.

Been really busy these days (hence this entry’s title, in conjunction of the paragraph below) – eventfully busy would be the right way to put it. Expect less entries forthcoming till the following Monday is over (and I’ve intensive Japanese classes from 2 days ago on Saturdays as well as Sundays, so there goes my weekends).

Picked up Jay Chou’s 我很忙 disc yesterday night from Popular, Summit, which I booked weeks ago. Didn’t listen to the entire CD yet but a few tracks are good, despite the odd, unappealing photo shoot of him in a cowboy outfit sitting on a pink mary-go-round pony WTF.

And Happy Birthday to Ding who’s (finally) 18. No more underage jokes eh. To think that when the clock stroke 12, we were in Jon’s room with Jon stringing a Happy Birthday on his guitar while Ding continued playing with Jon’s DS wtf.