I slept on the couch of the living room of my friend’s house after having too much to drink – slept nearly immediately, then woke up some time later for reasons I don’t know why. I slouched there, letting my focus wander by itself, then overheard things I shouldn’t have heard. Of my three close friends who made scathing, biting remarks behind my back in Mandarin, assuming I was still fast asleep. I was being placed on a pedestal and dissected thoroughly with no chance of defending myself before them.

I shouldn’t have awaken then. I should’ve still remained blissfully ignorant of the double-edged thoughts floating around me. I should be a pacified baby not knowing truths that hurt.

In hindsight, it probably was good to know how my friends really felt about the things I did or said, instead of masking them with apathy or humour or silence.

In the end I couldn’t stand listening anymore, and walked out from the house – I was drunkenly pissed. I walked all the way back home, with my laptop bag on my back, ignoring the possible dangers of getting robbed or killed at 3am in the morning. I didn’t care anymore.

All the while whilst I was walking back, a line from a Mandelshtam’s poem quoted in Elliot Perlman’s short story kept replaying in my head, of which I took solace in:

I was only in a childish way connected to the established order.

I’m happy to report that my expectations were duly matched – it single-handedly is the BEST animated film to date, and dare I say it, the best movie of the year. :) It’s simple enough in its execution (though I reckon it isn’t that simple behind the scenes), using the most minimal amount of dialogue to portray the most powerful of emotions that would make you laugh or tear up, has an original plot with top-notch CGI, and is extremely heart-warming.

I loved every minute of the movie. The antics of WALL-E and EVE were cute and innocent and there were a few moments that undoubtedly gave me the tingling sensation. There’s something about the naivety of the both of them vis-à-vis the raw concepts of love that made me love WALL-E very much. It’s one of them movies I wouldn’t mind watching twice.

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The white T-shirt I bought from Bangkok now remains in my closet, unused. I’m sorry that the month-long sparks had to fizzle out unceremoniously – I’d love to have it continue for the years to come, but on talking to Ting yesterday, I reflected upon my future with you and it seemed uncertain at best. Communication, as they said, is important especially in an LDR, but you offered none of that when we couldn’t meet. I’m sorry that it has to end on a note when you accorded no reply on MSN to my saying, “I think we need to take a break”.

It’s funny how the tees I bought seemed to be like a curse – they couldn’t be given to the people I fancied. It reminded me of that pink one that still remained not given from 2 years past, which was a relic from the past, a feeling from the past.

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Day 6 – Wednesday, 30th July 2008

We woke up a little after 11am as usual, and Matt was the one who woke us up again I think. After all the first few hectic days, I was actually beginning to enjoy the slowing-down pace, which reminded me of my extremely casual, relaxed, do-nearly-nothing days of backpacking at Vang Vieng, Laos which was the best time of my life.

But I digress.

Our room at Sawasdee Inn.

A typically messy guys’ room.

Bottles of water, an ashtray, and a few bottles of Leo beer that I drank from the previous nights on top of a small refrigerator.

We ambled down to breakfast, then went back to our guesthouse’s room to rest. We had learned during the breakfast, when I was about to pay my share of the room to the receptionist to extend one more night, that we cannot re-use our room as someone else had already booked it. Not a big deal really, except that we were too lazy to repack our stuffs, but we went anyway to a nearby guesthouse just a few stone’s throw away.

It was only 550baht for the 3 of us – it was originally 450baht for 2 persons for 2 single beds and a private bathroom without hot shower, and the extra money was paid for an extra bed, extra towel, extra blanket etc. The room was much smaller than our 700baht room at Sawasdee Smile, but heck, we got to cut some costs.

This part was initially going to be in a password-protected entry again, but due to changed circumstances, I’m going to write it out anyway.

At about 2pm, we went out from our room, I weighed my camera bag on a weighing machine by the staircase and found out it was 6kg WTF no wonder my back and shoulders always ache whenever I carry it around for nearly the entire day, then set off on a tuk-tuk that was willing to bring us to 3 locations for 50baht providing that we agree to go to a government-owned jewelry shop so that the tuk-tuk driver can obtain “gasoline subsidy”. Take note that we were also told that today was some Buddhist holiday at some point which should set off suspicious bells, and I was actually already suspicious at the ridiculously cheap 50baht price in the first place.

We stopped by at the first temple to see a giant Buddha, but could not see any entrances as the temple did seem closed (as per the Buddhist holiday thingy that we were told). A Filipino (Matt confirmed that she’s a Filipino, as he had experiences talking to Filipinos), whom I mistook as a local Thai with very good English, asked us if we knew where the entrance was and began talking to us.

This goddamn stupid temple that started the entire fiasco (actually it started with Albert insisting on wanting to sit a tuk-tuk wtf) – I swear I’m not going to visit any temples in Bangkok ever. -___-

Her name’s Shiela Pere (probably fake), and that she’s now working as a teacher in Singapore. The conversation eventually revolved around the government-owned jewellery shop and she was telling us that that was her 5th year doing a reselling of jewels and then selling it at Raffles Hotel to get 90% profit WTF. She told us that we could sell it to Tiffany and Co too at KLCC and prolly get 70% profit or something.

She even showed us her receipt that apparently had her buying 2 jewels (blue sapphire?) for USD$2000 wtf. She said she could easily cover her travel expenses with that and apartment rent etc for a few months, which was extremely attractive for us students, especially since I’m such a big travelling fan. She seemed genuine and awfully kind – and then we exchanged e-mails.

If this whole thing’s for real, we’ve struck a goldmine of sorts. The jewel promo was supposedly only once a year and we were on its last day. Another indicator of a blatant lie that we should be aware of. =(

We went to a certain jewellery store (name withheld because apparently it’s run by a syndicate of mafias :/) which the Filipino lady recommended, and it was much smaller than I expected, as Siew and I did go to a similar jewellery store last year. So taken in were we by the idea of earning so much profit that we decided to take a risk and use my credit card to purchase an RM2.2k red ruby pendant. Funny considering that we know next to nothing about jewels, but it was a risk that we were willing to take, and we paid up, obtained the certificate of guarantee and receipt, and put the jewel on the gold necklace around Matt’s neck after much consideration. We weren’t sure if we should meet up at Burger King/McD’s at Khaosan with a female staff later on ‘cause we figured it was dangerous to carry an expensive jewel around like that.

The female staff also warned us not to shout out things about the jewel as there was once her customer was bludgeoned on his/her head and was robbed of the jewels they purchased.

We set out – told tuk-tuk driver we didn’t buy anything – forgot some membership thingy and went back. Matt and I gave the staffs our names, e-mails, and house addresses.

We were filled with inane paranoia later on – Albert was suspicious of the tuk-tuk driver who was supposedly on the phone talking to someone and another tuk-tuk driver, fearing a syndicate. Our fears hit nearly close to home, but not quite. It was also raining fairly heavily, so any further temple-visiting was impossible and we set off back to our guesthouse.

When we reached our Soi Rambuttri, we went to our guesthouse (I tried to shield my camera bag the best I could from the rain), we rested, I showered, etc. By then some staff hauled in the extera bed for me, and Albert went out for his massage. He came back just a short while later (as he forgot to bring his cash), and in our minds (Matt’s and mine), we were paranoid to the extent that we thought someone was putting a knife by Albert’s neck and forcing to open the door LOL as he was back earlier than anticipated.

We went and ate lunch by the road of Soi Rambuttri at around 3pm plus – I ate fried rice with chicken, which was very oily, for 30baht. A muscular white guy, who was with her very beautiful female companion, helped the food stall staff to carry a heavy umbrella from across the wall – the staffs looked very grateful, and because his hands were dirtied in the process, the old lady showed him where to wash his hands, dry them, etc. It’s little good deeds like this that warms my heart and strengthened my faith a little in humanity.

We went back to our guesthouse, and I finished reading Sputnik Sweetheart. Albert returned from his oil massage that he described as being very gentle. We then slept for a short while – it was probably just 20 minutes for me, while the rest for an hour.

I sat there in bed when they awoke, watching the two working on their hair and realising how lazy and apathetic I was about my apperance.

We then set out for Khaosan Road, and walked around for our last night there.

Beautiful twilight.

And another vertical look.

Matt and Albert still deciding what T-shirts to buy wtf.

Fried bugs on sale. :/ There were erm, fried ants, fried crickets, fried larvae.. This pic was surprisingly sharp as it’s snapped in low-light, but as I always carried around my 6kg camera bag in front of me, which conveniently doubled as a very stable platform to place my camera to snap pics, that’s why I can snap decent, sharp pics even at 1/10 speed.

We talked to an angmoh couple who were curious about the fried bugs, and as Matt bought two packets (one packet of fried crickets, another packet of fried larvae), he offered them to taste a few, as they just wanted to taste one or two and not buy an entire packet. Auntie manning the stall also taught us how to eat the fried crickets: you first need to snap their legs off.

Our dinner: porridge with egg (literally)! Kind of a unique way to prepare a porridge.

Aforementioned fried bugs.

Should’ve placed a warning that this picture isn’t for the weak-hearted. The way we ate them fried crickets looked like a bug massacre.. actually I didn’t eat the fried crickets at all wtf (too disgusted).

At the cybercafe of our guesthouse that actually times people with stopwatches wtf. That was also when I told Jess happily about the gem thingy on MSN wtf.

Went out some more to eat.

I had two bottles of Leo beer brought back to our guesthouse to drink – I asked Matt to teman me to drink, and he did for half a bottle before I finished the rest for him. We were lying there in our beds in the dark, just talking, and talking, and I realised I hadn’t been doing that for a very long time. There was something different with talking in the darkness – a different quality that allows bravery, loss of self-consciousness, and really, to talk about things that we never really would’ve talked in the light of the day.

There were interesting topics and revelations that night.

Day 7 – Thursday, 31st July 2008

We had to wake up at 3am – so no, we didn’t sleep. Which was decidedly foolish, because we felt awfully nasty the next day.

A final group picture before we left the guesthouse – with my camera hanging off a lamp with the Gorillapod.

As we had already told our guesthouse to book a taxi for us the day before, we already had a car waiting for us.. which wasn’t a taxi. It was literally someone else who isn’t a taxi driver, but merely used his car to earn a side income, heh. It was 400baht for the 3 of us, which was the same amount we paid when we first came here from the Suvarnabhumi Airport.

At the airport when both Matt and Albert had to pay 100baht to wrap their backpacks as they didn’t have a cargo bag like me.

And so we left, after getting my VAT refund from the custom’s office (one of which, failed, as the camera store told me different things :/ but it was a small amount anyway) and bought our booze there as it was slightly cheaper than LCCT – my Absolut Mango was RM5 cheaper than if I were to buy it in Malaysia.

I spent the next few hours in the airport and the airplane in a total daze – I wasn’t aware of the flow of time, but it seemed like only a few minutes between the time of departure and the time of landing. Albert’s godbrother picked us up from the airport, and we went back to Albert’s house to drop him off before going for lunch near Old Klang Road, and then to KLCC to see if we could really sell the gem.

Long story short, several jewellery stores later, we realised we had been had. This is really something I rather not talk about in public, because I had to remember this awfully marring blot of an experience to an otherwise fun and joyful Bangkok trip – but on returning home, a quick Google showed this website that indeed confirmed that we’ve been scammed by those motherfuckers.

On looking back, we were quite foolish and naive, and my mum laughingly jabbed at me saying, “How can smart college students like you guys be fooled?” – and it had to be the basic human quality that this syndicate of police officers, mafias, tourism police, tuk-tuk drivers, and foreign tourists exploit: greed.

There are of course, details that I had left out on the steps we took to recover our money back, because until I actually do recover a large part of ‘em, I guess it’s better not to say a word about it.. for obvious reasons. It’s times like this that it’s sad to have a blog that you can’t write about things you really want to and have to self-censor yourself.

But all in all, I had a great time in Bangkok – the fishing trip experience and Patpong are irreplaceable memories in my life.

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I’m actually very inspired at the moment to write a further 7 short stories to compile into a collection of short stories, of which I’ll self-publish it. :D It has been a long, suppressed dream – something I thought of as ridiculous and an unattainable feat before (because I always thought that my works are always not as good as the ones out there in the market), but with the advent of self-publishing.. I think it’s very possible. Who cares if less than 10 people actually purchase my book – it’s just very self-satisfying to see my bloody work in print!

I already have a few ideas thrown about in my head – the title, the cover, the layout, the stories, etc. But with the mountains of college work and language classes-related homework piling up against me, I really don’t have the time to pursue it. :/ Might take a few years before this book actually happens for real.

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Day 4 – Monday, 28th July 2008

We woke up at about 10am and ate our complimentary breakfast (I had banana pancake), then we went to a nearby 2nd hand bookstore to purchase some books – I bought “Thai – A Rough Guide Phasebook” for 160baht (after discount from 180baht), while Albert had a questionable British magazine of the opposite sex wearing next to nothing for 80baht lol.

Group picture! It’s as if we have to take at least one group pic of ourselves everyday, ‘cause we don’t have many such pics. :/

My gelled hairdo, thanks to Albert.

We went to MBK for a while to meet up with Matt’s girl-friends, and we shopped around again wtf (excluding myself). Some of the girls have actually finished spending every single baht and were now using their credit cards. -___-

At MBK, I thought of taking the opportunity to buy the lens hood for my Canon 10-22mm for 1900baht (VAT inclusive), after trying to decide between a Hoya CPL filter for 22xxbaht and the lens hood. Also learned from the same male staff who attended to me that my Computrekker camera bag actually contains that elusive raincover that I’ve been trying to locate. :D

For lunch, we ate Hainan Chicken Rice for 40baht. Finishing that, we walked all the way to Siam Paragon while asking the locals along the way (who were all generally helpful) and lepak-ed there for a bit. A photography gallery was going on, and the pics there impressed me greatly as some merely used their kit lenses to produce such fine photos. One photo also used my Canon 10-22mm lol, and most of the pics were already sold. It’s a real dream alright to see one of my own pics at such a gallery/exhibition one day.

A look at Siam Paragon. For some odd reason, despite the fact that I can’t afford anything that goes inside there (the local woman whom we asked directions to Paragon for told us too that if we’re there just to “see see” it’ll be alright if we don’t shop), I always recommend people to go there to be impressed by their luxuriousness and architecture.. though I now doubt people actually share my same view.

Another look. Oh, I had a “thought I lost my passport” moment again =.=” God I think I’m beginning to turn to a frigging paranoid. Just as we were walking out from Siam Paragon, I felt the pouch beneath my pants, and couldn’t seem to feel it (that was because my heavy bag was obstructing me from feeling it properly) and I thought I dropped it and said, “Guys, something’s not right” or something and later found that it was there all along. >_>

Outside Siam Paragon before we hitched a taxi. We were so bloody tired from all the walking by then.

Albert asked me to stay awake and so I did wtf. Can camwhore some more at such a short distance with my ultra wide angle lens. :)

A grand tree at one of the junctions of Soi Rambuttri.

We went back to our hotel – I had to borrow like RM200 from Albert and then have them converted to Thai baht. :/ If anyone’s going to Bangkok, particularly Khaosan Road, Rainbow Exchange at the corner of the route in Soi Rambuttri (near said tree in the pic above) provides the best exchange rate.

I then walked around on my own for a bit – collecting my laundry that I sent away earlier that morning (it was 25baht/kg, and mine was 38baht for 1.4kg). It was done in merely 6 hours and I collected it at around 6.40pm. Had a nice, short alone time to snap pics too.

Where I did my laundry, if you can make out the words at the centre of the pic.

I went to the cybercafe too – a coin-operated one, something that you’ll never see in Malaysia. As it was 10baht for 20 minutes, all you have to do is to insert the 10baht coin into the designated hole, and the countdown timer will start running from 20 minutes. When it reaches the final 5 minutes, the countdown timer will start to blink too, and when time runs out, your keyboard and mouse will not function anymore. >_> I initially wanted to use it for only 20 minutes, but as time goes on I went on and used it for an hour lol.

I then went back to our room at slightly after 8pm, then after a while we left to Patpong, the red light district.

Super Pussy! Last year when I was in Bangkok with Siew we saw the same exact thing, and god it brings back memories. =) (Not that we’ve entered Super Pussy.. erm that sounds wrong wtf.) And the guy in yellow in this pic are like any few dozens of annoying, persistent buggers who try to persuade you to watch “ping-pong shows” or “live sex shows” wtf – I was so annoyed by them after being approached for the 105226th time that I wanted to buy a T-shirt that screams “NO, I DON’T WANT A F***ING TUK-TUK, SUIT, OR MASSAGE” or something similar so I can point the “NO, I DON’T WANT” words in caps on the tee when I wear it on the spot.

Finished with our tour at Patpong, we went back to our hotel at around 1am.

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Day 5 – Tuesday, 29th July 2008

We woke up at 11.15am to Matt saying that our free breakfast was over, but in actual fact it was really at 11.30am. Blurry-eyed, we made a move to the lobby and had our breakfast – I had scrambled eggs with ham.

I had an odd vivid dream of suddenly having my dream Tokina 11-16mm in my hands in a camera shop, and I was debating whether to return it honestly to the shop owner or not wtf damn weird dream.

Random observation: When I was in the toilet trying to pangsai (something that seems a little hard to do when I was in Thailand), I suddenly noticed there was a rubberband around my right wrist and I muttered out loud, “Oh what the hell”. It was from my Computrekker’s extensive straps that I took out.

We walked around our area too after that – generally just doing a little of exploration, side-shopping, and eating.

Loads of food stalls crowded on the sidewalk.

We spotted a Kumon centre while walking around.

Eventually I stopped here with my other two fellow travellers for a very late lunch.. a quaint eatery with rustic atmosphere that sells pork noodles in soup.

My finished small bowl of pork noodles for 20baht IIRC.

After finished walking around, we rested in our room and waited for Wena to text us when they’re here.

And when they did that, Albert and I went to look for the Chanasongkram Police Station where they were supposed to be at. The both of us also obtained 4 bottles of Colgate Plax samples that some Colgate girls were passing out, and after a while, Wena and the other girls came.

I walked all the way back to our room which took about 10 minutes, and saw Matt sitting at the lobby watching TV, presumably waiting for us. I then led him to the police station, and on the way we saw a Korean couple (at least I think they were Korean), and the girl sniffed right in the open the man’s hairy armpits whose hands were in the air WTF. We also met up with Albert at the police station at the designated time of 6pm sharp.

We walked around mostly at Khaosan, and I finally bought another tee with witty strings of text that I really liked.

The angmoh lady was ‘ambushed’ by the crowd of women who were peddling their ethnic crafts.

The busy Khaosan Road – the variety that they sell here is many, there were even a few stalls that sell a service to create fake IDs and journalist/photographer passes. I was tempted to get one done ‘cause it was only 200baht.

We eventually ate dinner – this pic depicts Wang Lee Hom! Do you know why! ‘cause there’s 黄绿红 wtf (pronounced as huang2, lü4, hong2, which means yellow, green, and red respectively) – yeah Matt told me this joke, and I reckon the joke would kinda be lost if you don’t understand Chinese at all.

Another group picture!

Then the girls lepak-ed in our room and we snapped jumping pics. Oh, and before reaching our room, Matt kindly reminded me to get 2 bottles of beer for myself (like I had always done every night wtf) to store in our fridge, ‘cause 7-Eleven has a policy of not selling alcohol after 12am haih.

Hahahaha I liked how the blue-dress girl tried to ‘grab’ the sun (sorry don’t know all of their names wtf except for the middle girl whose name’s Josephine I think).

LOL Albert’s and my expression damn funny.

At about 10pm we walked around and sent them off.

Albert’s funny expression is revealed here again at a food stall – forgot what it was that they sold.

We then returned to our room, lepak-ed, I drank my routine beer and chit-chatted with mostly Albert as Matt wanted to sleep. I then dozed off at about 1am.

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The first thought that struck me was that I was having a panic attack, but then I realised it wasn’t. It was paranoia filing in, probably an unfortunate genetic keepsake from my grandma – and when that happened, all I had to do was to talk to someone, and start the process of soul separation again. If you ask me how I manage to do that, I really don’t know how to begin to explain.

It isn’t literally separating my soul of course – it was just my own method of keeping my emotions in check. And by in check, I mean restraining them like a warden would over delinquent inmates.

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My Quantitative Analysis VL (Visiting Lecturer) is from Melbourne and will be teaching the subject for 4 days this entire week – he’s young (I reckon he’s around his late 20s/early 30s), good-looking, bespectacled, spices up the class with humour as best he could which surprisingly works, for a subject that’s harder than Add Maths. :/ I mean, anyone who could make a mathematical subject interesting and keeps people focused throughout the 2 hours (especially for one who tends to fall asleep easily like me) has to be really, really good in teaching.

For once, I’m actually looking forward to QA.

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My Price Theory mid-sem test on Tuesday was alright – the 10 MCQ questions were okay, most of them came out exactly the same from our exercise book, while the three short essay questions were a little tough. Nevertheless, our lecturer surprised us by giving us a hint WTF to one of the tougher questions which I managed to do in the end. No wonder my classmate Rebecca warned me that there was once during summer in Prices & Markets, she blatantly released the answers during the exams WTF..

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Day 3 – Sunday, 27th July 2008

Note: MANY PICTURES AHEAD, NOT SUITABLE FOR SLOW CONNECTION. As usual, some pictures can be enlarged – you will know that if you hover your mouse cursor over a pic, and it changes into a pointing hand.

I was woken up at 6.30am by Matt. I was in a deep, satisfying sleep thanks to the beer from the previous night, dreaming of running away from dinosaur-like monsters in the jungle wtf. When Matt shoke me to wake me up, it felt as if I was being forcefully dragged to reality by hand.

Free breakfast provided by our guesthouse. :) Mine was a typical American breakfast of scrambled eggs with ham – you can choose from four different options.

We then went to Bungsamran Fishing Lake which was about 30 minutes away from Bangkok by taxi at about 8 or 9am – to fish! Well, it was really Matt and Albert’s desire really (you’ve to pay about RM100 to rent a rod IIRC, not inclusive of the entrance fee), and I was just tagging along, but I had fun as well.

We met Sifu Voon, a forumer of a fishing forum whom Matt got to know from (wearing blue tee in this pic) – he’s a Malaysian working in Thailand for 5 months already, and his real name’s Peter.

Took the opportunity to snap around the private fishing lake with my new Canon 10-22 baby. :) Definitely my favourite pic of this entire trip – minimal post-processing was done as it was straight out of the camera.

Albert getting ready to throw his line as far as he can with the bread-coconut something bait.

Peter throwing his line.

The row of wooden houses in front the lake that were available for rent for 600baht and above I think – there were many angmohs fishing from the houses.

The wooden shelter – I actually took a nap on the bench at one point.

Peter’s rod had an ‘alarm’ that would ring whenever a fish tugged at his line, and this pic was of him reeling it in just after maybe 10-20 minutes of casting his first line!

And a fish is caught! So huge omg.

The three anglers posing with the fish.. which the local called as ‘baby’ WTF. Because all the fishes that were in that pond were incredibly large.. wait till they come to Malaysia’s private ponds and see the measly sizes. =.=”

To be quite honest, I didn’t get the idea of fishing as a hobby, especially the catch-and-release kind. But it was hell of an interesting experience though (I’m always a sucker for experiencing something new). Sounds of the line being pulled – a creaky eeee – occasionally interspersed maybe every 20 minutes or so in the sunny, windy day, and all of us would turn to look to see what catch they had.

Another look of my fishing friends – of Matt trying to reel in a catch.

I listened to their stories while they were fishing, and I was lying down, enjoying the breeze with Sputnik Sweetheart in my hand – they also used loads of fishing terminology: spool, reel, stopper, and other fish names; stories like how Peter nearly caught a kelong in Johor, how Matt started his fishing journey and got really hooked when he caught his first fish, etc.

I don’t understand what they were talking about most of the time about angling, but I’m sure it’s the same thing if I talk about aperture or 10-22 or CPL filter with other photography enthusiasts. Or when Shawn proudly show off his collection of knives in which I don’t quite understand the joy of having a collection of culinary utensils. Or car enthusiasts with their car modifications. Or stamp-collectors with their stamps.

Peter trying to catch Matt and Albert’s fish with a net.

Me tumpang glamour wtf (hooray for Gorillapod for hanging off an unused chair with self-timer).

Matt with said fish.

Me pretending to have caught the fish wtf. As this is a catch-and-release pond, we released the fish into the pond after satisfied with snapping pics with the fish while the poor fish tried to catch its breath wtf.

I whiled the time away by reading Haruki Murakami’s Sputnik Sweetheart on a bench, my leg on top of my thigh, switching legs sporadically. Large grey clouds were also overhanging throughout the afternoon, but sufficient sunlight still shone through to cast warming heat.

As I read Sputnik Sweetheart, my imagination wisped into a collection of concentrated thoughts of love, of relationship. Words coated with honey and sugar, like a bait for a fish, reeled me in – and I’m dragged into a maelstrom of perpetual confusion, but at the same time, left me enjoying the murals of etched affections. I was in guarded love. And so I impulsively sent a few international SMSes.

I wish I could explain in excruciatingly minute detail of my experiences to enable all of you to experience what I experienced – like how as I walked on the wooden planks of the fishing pond, I noticed, for no reason at all, the deep, bass pats of my footsteps; the mild fish smell (in which I lack the ability to describe its unique smell, except to name it just that – ‘fish smell’) that wafted through the air as someone dragged what looked like a 5kg fish out onto the wooden planks; and the people that I passed by: the group of Thais in their mid-20s laughing as they relaxed under the comforts of the shaded roof, the old white guy with an old dark-skinned Thai woman sitting next to each other, the white guy talking mostly.

And I can never describe in detail of the people we met or saw: how their hair looked like, or their noses, or cheeks, or wrinkles, to enable my readers to picture not a vague glimpse. And because I lack all these, my descriptions merely scratched the surface of worlds in shocking contrasts, of the worlds I breathe in. And thus the only understanding that you may grasp of my experiences at times are the outlines, the barebones, the fleeting glances that never leave a deep impression.

There was this local who kept catching fish after fish every 5-10 minutes NO KIDDING. While.. my angling friends caught only 2 between themselves throughout the entire day wtf.

The four of us with the local (in red bandana) who caught the fish.

Me trying to keep the fish from slipping from my hands – I was like gripping awkwardly on its fins/gills/whatever the two front extended things are called.

We then went back to Peter’s apartment (and cancelled our plans of going back to Chatuchak to purchase a KFC tee.. we wanted to wear the same tee together) called The Room, which costs about RM3000/month for rental WTF (but paid for by his employers, and the fee also includes electricity and water bills, etc). It was a really nice, comfy, executive place though – we sat down and talked about various stuffs, then moved on to Malaysia and its corruption, political issues, complained about Bodohwi wtf.

Family photo! From left to right: Matt, Peter, Albert, me.

A wide-angle perspective of his very sleek apartment.

After talking for about an hour, at about 7pm we then went to Chinatown! We were also supposed to meet up with Peter’s girl-friends who were also in Bangkok.

A look at the streets of Chinatown.

Another look.

From the top of the restaurant that we were in.

Delicious fat juicy prawns (it was the first time I tried ‘em).

Our table – pic can only be achieved with my ultra wide angle lens. :)

My plate of food.

After finishing our seafood dinner, we walked around Chinatown for a bit.

Bought a Bangkok-only food (Peter let us try it earlier in his apartment) – it’s chicken floss done in such a manner that it was crunchy. In Cantonese it’s called ‘gao si’ (dog shit wtf) ‘cause apparently it looked like one.

Then the girls wanted to eat cheap bird’s nest wtf which they did at this restaurant/shop here. We were also charged about RM1 for the chrysanthemum tea they served swt.

Group photo!

Using two taxis, we then went back to our Khaosan Road (except for Peter) to show the girls around. The picture above depicts our Soi Rambuttri.

Another look of Soi Rambuttri.

Our guesthouse quite terror ok, got play movies (pirated DVDs more like it) with timeslots and all for different movies everyday! In the picture, I think the angmohs were watching Juno or The Dark Knight.. I can’t quite remember.

Funky lanterns sold near our guesthouse.

Matt also got molested by a dark-skinned Thai girl LOL while 2 aquas approached me wtf do I look like I’m the type that’s into them. :/

Damn cool la the 2nd tee from the left.

Susie Walk Street.

Me looking pregnant wtf.

Me in the explosion of colours.

Random probably sedated elephant brought by the unscrupulous owners to the street – you have to pay like 20baht to feed the elephant sugarcane or something. :/

Girl in funky tattoos (in the middle). Matt and Albert chided me, thinking I was snapping pics of the aquas lol (half of the head at the bottom of the pic).

Matt damn brave to ask them if we can snap photos with them, when they were patrolling the streets. Me and Albert with the police!

After seeing the girls off in a taxi, we then ended the night by going to the bar near our place to get a jug of Singha. I had already drank 2 bottles of 350ml Leo (again about RM2.60 each!) throughout the night while I was in Khaosan.

A largely long and eventful day.

In fact, I met up with my classmate Rebecca at McD’s SS15 on the day I came back itself at about 5.40pm so I could photostat and copy things I’ve missed out in classes, to which I’m extremely thankful to her.

And then on Friday morning, I went to college again to return a ‘red spot’ library book, and was fined RM1 (RM0.50 for every hour late, I was merely late by 3 minutes at 10.03am and I’m fined the extra hour -__-). Spotted my name at the notice board, among other students’ names, to go to the RMIT office to collect a letter, and it turned out to be a letter of commendation from the RMIT/Metropolitan Program Co-ordinator (from Australia) for getting a High D for my previous sem’s Business Statistics 1.

Quite an ego-booster – dunno if Curtin has this sort of thing as I was only with them for one semester. And for some weird inexplicable reason, because I think that my effort was actually treasured in the form of a simple letter, I’ve the drive I need to study and try and excel my upcoming tests wtf.

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Day 1 – Friday, 25th July 2008

Met up with Matt, Albert, and Albert’s godbrother at Summit who were running a little late for close to an hour at nearly 6pm. We ate at McD’s, then went straight to the LCCT.

There’s something about airports and airplanes that always struck me as interesting. At the airport after checking in, hundreds of flight passengers of various nationalities converge waiting for their respective flights. An elderly white guy with a Thai wife. An old Chinese man with his family. Tall, pretty angmoh girls with well-defined features. A 6-foot tall Chinese (as in from China) girl.

And all of these people, we were only able to examine them more closely when they were in the same plane. Especially a particularly angmoh girl who was travelling on her own that caught my eye. I admire and respect such travellers, because they’re wildly independent and are fearless of the loneliness that may assault them.

Albert and Matt in the queue waiting for our gate to open.

Flight moments that I thought were particularly critical have always been taking off and landing. I’m not particularly worried about anything bad happening because statistically, aircraft-related accidents have always been the lowest among all modes of transportation. But nonetheless I couldn’t shake the images of sudden accidents from exploding at the back of my mind – and again despite the fact I don’t want to die just yet, strangely I wasn’t afraid.

My only regret was the last words/actions I’d relegated to family and friends were: SMSing Shawn saying that I’ve passed the Japanese listening CDs to Ding; Ding coming to my house at noon to pass McD’s onion rings and chocolate sundae that I’ve forgotten to eat before departing and must’ve been eaten by my younger brother then; MSNing Heng updating him my life and everyone else’s here; MSNing Jon saying I’ve updated HS; MSNing an emo Alvin; messaged Li Ting in Facebook, the Singaporean girl I met in laos while in a cycling trip together and with whom we discovered we have a lil something in common in the recent span of messages; phoned Andy and talked to both Sarah and Andy muttering goodbyes; SMSed an iloveyou to S; saying goodbye to my mum on the phone.

That independent angmoh traveller sat at the same row as us, at the left side of the aisle. She chose the seat by the window, pen hooked to her ear, long black hair trailed down to her breasts, her hands filled with dozens of printed papers that surely must contain travel plans. Throughout the entire flight, her head was buried in papers and a Harry Potter book – and whilst we were taking off, when all lights were dimmed, leaving only reading lights on to those who were reading, only mine, hers, and a sporadic few were sprouting light.

Sitting in an aircraft is like riding in an extended rollercoaster ride – a rushing beginning and a heart-pumping ending; like a cassette tape with its tape being pulled out extensively to expand the ride into two distinctive parts, the beginning and the end, with a generally long-winded middle.

I relish the pressure against our bodies and inside our ears as we took of – I closed my eyes so I could perceive the pressure against my chest and ears with better clarity, just like how a blind man have an extremely perceptive sense of hearing due to the loss of sight.

This time around, as I always bring a book or 2 with me while travelling to while the time away, I brought Haruki Murakami’s Sputnik Sweetheart.

Apparently the Suvarnabhumi Airport is so huge that we had to use a commuting bus to reach the terminal. And right after getting off from the bus, I frigging thought I lost my passport, so I returned to said bus and searched the seemingly empty bus only to find it later in my pocket. -____- Sigh I can be so stupidly careless.

The first thing we did on arriving was purchasing a Thai SIM card. Or go to the toilet and drink from the water dispenser near it. I forgot which came first.

We eventually went on a taxi for 400baht as we were too lazy to bargain, plus they kept convincing us by saying how we had to pay the toll for the espressway blablabla PLUS it was nearly 11pm when we left the airport by taxi. And apparently it was an hour ride to Khaosan Road, where we wanted to go (but it only took our taxi driver about 45 minutes) and it was raining very heavily at the time. :(

When we arrived at Soi Rambuttri, it was already midnight, and we were beginning to fear that we may have no place to bunk in that night as nearly every guesthouse we went turned us away, saying that they were fully booked for the night. One posh-looking guesthouse’s staff jokingly said we could sleep in their garden wtf, before giving us a map as we were looking for Marcopolo, which we booked earlier online (but couldn’t find it in the end).

We eventually took up a room that was meant only for one person.. but seeing that we were desperate, we took it anyway, paying about 650baht for the 3 of us.

Once we’ve dumped our heavy backpacks, we went down to the street in search of food – surprisingly, a number of stalls, restaurants, and pubs were still open at 1am. :)

Delicious seafood – Matt and Albert ordered two pieces of large prawns that cost about 50baht each damn mahal wtf (but they told me it was cheaper than in Malaysia). I had fried rice IIRC.

When we later walked around in search of other guesthouses to bunk, we found one Sawasdee Smile that had a room for 3 people for 700baht -___- if we had searched properly, we would’ve found this but then again, we were a little paranoid of having no places to sleep at midnight at that time.

Yes this is the pathetic state of our room that night. T____T 3 people squeezing into a SINGLE bed.. we eventually decided to sleep horizontally across it. (And the camera was hanging from a wall lamp wtf.)

We went to bed at nearly 2.30am.

Day 2 – Saturday, 26th July 2008

We woke up super early at 6am Thailand time as Matt and Albert forgot to change the time in their handphones LOL (Thailand is behind Malaysia by an hour) – we used their handphone alarms to wake us up, and Matt was using Jason Mraz’s I’m Yours as his alarm ringtone. We only discovered the mistake when we woke up.

Albert having a fag in the morning wtf. Incidentally, this is one of my favourite photos of the trip.

We switched guesthouses after getting ready, then took a taxi to Chatuchak Weekend Market for 180baht – silly, I know, we should’ve demanded for meter but we didn’t know better at the time. The taxi driver was also an eccentric guy who talks a lot in broken English – constantly pretending that he was an F1 driver, thus he sped around like mad. Dahla tak faham his English so we interjected with “Oohhh”s and “Aaaah”s at whatever he was saying.

When we reached Chatuchak, it was already beginning to drizzle. :( Not a very good beginning, and neither was it encouraging, ‘cause apparently Albert’s friend mentioned that during the duration that we would be in Bangkok, the weather forecast mentioned thunderstorms all the way WTF. Albert was also complaining of the fact that Chatuchak was a non-smoking zone (a good thing for me :P).

Selling a cendol-like dessert.

Also in case you don’t know what the infamous Chatuchak is, it’s a colossal weekend market that has possibly thousands of stalls gathering in its massive grounds – I cannot begin to describe how large it is. A colossal market means an insane variety and amount of things to browse through, that, you probably couldn’t use a single day to browse through every item that was on sale, I kid you not. And also, nearly every item is dirt cheap, and you probably need to bargain a bit.

Sunglasses stall. Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who’s the handsomest of them all wtf.

Some really delicious crunchy pork that we bought a packet for 100baht IIRC.

My two financial planners who jot down every single purchase to the dot – they usually pay first on my behalf, so I’ll just pay them at the end of the day.

The infamous Bangkok orange juice that are 100% natural! :D 10baht for the small bottle (some stalls elsewhere may hike it up to 15baht), and 25baht for the large one. They’re excellent thirst quenchers, and they’re actually small Mandarin oranges that are really sweet. There were also some.. guava juice which was odd to drink but didn’t taste too bad.

We also eventually met up with Matt and Albert’s friend, Wena, and her other girl-friends. We were supposed to walk together, but fed up with tagging with them shopping girl stuffs, we parted ways.

Rows and rows of earrings that go for only about RM1 per pair.

Wii boxers HAHAHA. I would’ve bought one, but didn’t think it was necessary.. ‘cause I was on a budget wtf. My other Bangkok partners, on the other hand, shopped clothes like they were freebies wtf. (Matt was telling me, “Please stop me from buying more clothes” and exactly 2 seconds later he turned and saw The Simpsons boxers or something and went “OMG MUST BUY!” wtf.)

Small refreshing coconuts that were also good thirst quenchers – only 10baht (~RM1) I think. Since we walked around a lot and were dehydrating as the day went on (and the sun rose up), we drank a whole lot of liquid as well.

Cute couple tees were on sale, although you can safely disregard the grammatically incorrect text on two of them.

Chatuchak (and Bangkok, and Thailand in general) has hilarious tees. HAHAHHA LOOK AT THE BOTTOM-RIGHT TWO TEES. It’s HELLO TITTY AHAHHAHAHHA LAUGH DIE ME. (Again I nearly wanted to buy one but haih jimat duit sin.)

The dude who sells the leaping frog toys – you wind the frogs up, and they’ll leap backwards, quite amazing pieces considering that they go for only 20baht (~RM2).

Rare pic of the official photographer looking at boxers wtf.

Tiger prawns? on sale – they BBQ for you those things on the spot. It was 100baht for a small amount, and 150baht for a large amount. Dang even as I type, I still can smell the faint burnt crisp smell that I’ve come to associate with BBQed seafood.

Fair and cute Taiwanese girl with her boyfriend. I was eavesdropping on their conversation all the way wtf ‘cause the circumstances of how the African lady talked to the Taiwanese girl were soo interesting: African lady stopped the passing Taiwanese girl and asked if she can converse in English, and when the Taiwanese girl answered in the affirmative, the African lady asked if she could differentiate the colours between the huge bundles of.. stuff near her (if I’m not mistaken, she was trying to purchase bundles of dried flowers from a local old woman). Then they made small talk, and Taiwanese couple said they’d love to visit African lady’s country some day (I forgot which it was already), and so on and so on – I love how people from completely different cultures can converse so pleasantly with one another. :) Sigh yes I’m being a little unrealistic in wishing for zero racism.

Matt and cute poodle.

A fucking adorable husky with blue eyes!!! zomg I’ve never seen a dog with blue eyes in my life.

Another look at said husky. (No, we didn’t ask how much it was – yes it was on sale – but pets are generally way cheaper in Bangkok.)

Matt and Albert with a Thai Jack Sparrow. Right after snapping the photo, he insisted that we buy his erm, semi-worthless products (unattractive bracelets etc), and later when we didn’t, berated us and complained that the next time people want to snap a photo with him, they have to buy something from him first lol.

I liked this pic but too bad it turned out to be a little blur – rows of bags and handbags were on sale.

And flowers. And other home deco items.

And chicks/ducklings dumped inhumanely together into a single bucket. :(

Us tired as fuck sitting down next to the clocktower after walking for hours non-stop.

Me pretending to be a bored shopkeeper (there was no one manning the stall wtf) with a random kid that appeared out of nowhere.

We finished walking at about 3pm, then walked all the way to the nearby BTS (also known as the Skytrain) station, Mo Chit, then took it to the National Stadium (had to ask an auntie and a helpful young guy how to reach there, as we had to switch trains), then went into the MBK mall!

Long story short, after surveying the few camera shops from 3rd floor to 5th floor (there was the excellent Fotofile on the 5th floor that has tons of lenses and cameras in glass displays, and tons of ergonomic chairs and tables to sink our tired bottoms into), we ended up at Foto Thailand that could give me the cheapest price for my Canon 10-22mm – the Tokina 11-16mm that was my first choice wasn’t sold anywhere for some reason. :/

Test shot of my new lens wide open at 10mm. :D Dude on the right was the one attending to me.

I eventually bought the 10-22 for 21,000baht, a Hova UV filter for around 1,300baht (forgot exact price), and a Gorillapod SLR-Zoom for 1,300baht – all were VAT (value-added tax) inclusive, which means as a tourist, I can be refunded the 7% VAT at the customs at the airport when I leave. :) The prices were already cheap to begin with, compared to those sold in Malaysia.

Then went down to McD’s to eat the, what else, Samurai Pork Burger. :D Which was sososo very good as usual.

We went back to our Khaosan Road during rush hour for only 90+baht with a meter-using taxi. :/ Memang kena con the first time around lol.

Matt proudly showing off his purchases for the day wtf.

Obligatory group photo! Assisted by the newly purchased Gorillapod that was hanging off a chair.

We then went for a massage after we took our shower – we really needed it as my shoulders, back, and legs were aching from walking the entire day, and I was lugging around a 5kg+ camera bag everywhere. =.=” It was also only 180baht (~RM18) for one hour for the Thai massage near our guesthouse.

We had to wash our feet before entering the massage room – and one of the staffs cleaned our feet for us wtf such a good service.

My masseur.. unfortunately, wasn’t a nubile girl but a fairly plump auntie. The entire massage was a weird experience – a lot of unflattering positions that would seem like the karmasutra to the uninitiated (Matt and I couldn’t help but laugh out loud when we were in, um, the weird positions). It was also quite painful, especially when I had to turn on my stomach for the masseur to massage me, but I felt really really relaxed when it was all over.

The massage room was dimly lit, its wall had a chart of the various acupuncture points of the body, a painting of a wat, and a sign asking guests to talk quietly to respect others lol.

We went makan at a restaurant – I had a fried omelette with rice for 25baht and a 10baht ice lemon tea in a glass bottle!

The aforementioned ice lemon tea in glass bottles :D (with the odd Pepsi)

Also went to another stall that sold some noodles which we shared.

The rows of stuffs that were on sale near said noodle stall.

Eventually I had a pad thai for 20baht as well.

Then we went to the cybercafe near our guesthouse for 30baht/hour (but it was 1baht per minute wtf). Chatted on MSN, checked my e-mail, etc.

I also had 2 small Leo bottles for only 26baht each (~RM2.60, SO CHEAP compared to Malaysia I tell you!) purchased at the 7-Eleven that was conveniently near our guesthouse too. But too bad I discovered that my companions don’t really drink, especially not beer. :( So I was drinking alone most of the time wtf.

Sometime during that evening/night, I had a Korean guy stopping me as I walked past him and he started speaking Korean to me wtf. I had to tell him I wasn’t Korean.. wished I could communicate with him though.

We then went to bed, in anticipation of the fishing trip the next day.

The calmness and extensive exhaustion juggled in my head. The pair of brown eyes that stared into my soul. The forests of curly black hair. The TV that played a nameless generic adventure movie. The embrace that radiated security. The view of warm lights twinkling in the dead city of the night from the eighteenth floor. The faint, pleasant odour I could hardly detect. The love declaration. The queen-sized bed that felt almost new. The blithe emptiness vying with gnawing confusion in my mind. The menu of unordered unpronounceable wines and champagnes. The whispers of wanting to know the other. The litter of discarded clothes and underwear on the floor. The new things we learn about each other like discovering a new unique plot from turning the pages of a novel. The hot shower that brought the deadening senses in my head alive again. The gentle, soothing massage. The hair that smelled of ginseng I mistook as tobacco. The person that I want to be with.

For these, I’ll persevere.

It’s strange that I always have that innate desire to go online when travelling, when really, I should be out there on the cloudy Bangkok streets exploring and immersing in the culture that’s unlike Malaysia. I’ll show photos and insert long-winded posts when I get back, but I dunno how long that would take me as I’ve a test to sit for the week after I come back, and post-processing photos really take ages.

There are many levels in my relationship that I already cannot tell. I need reassurances, and I need to know, and I need to talk, and I need to understand. Sometimes this felt surreal – that we’re in two entirely different worlds because there are vast differences between us, but in that single night we gravitated towards each other. We both wanted it to work, but maybe I should’ve said ‘no’ and skipped all this inanity that followed.

Heh what the hell am I mumbling in this cybercafe alone. The countdown timer of the computer now blinks red rapidly below 5 minutes, and time is running out. I’ve no coins left, my friends are probably waiting for me in the room of our guesthouse, and I’m still very lost.

And by the way, the go-go bar was a blast. Dancing girls in the bikinis didn’t fancy me in the least, but talking to them and a couple of aunties were frigging hilarious that had me laughing the most number of times in this trip. It was the high from the two Singha bottles, and I was happy. For that moment, I was unnaturally happy.